Surviving The Past
by vguz04
Summary: How much can a person take when their past caught up to them? And what would it take to survive it?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi guys, I am back for the next story I promise you guys. I know some are still waiting on my story The Sacrifice and trust me, it going along. I am on chapter 36, i just have to wait on my beta. Anyway i want to thank my friend HAVERA for being my beta for this story. She make this story better. The story is almost done. It a good story with a lot of drama, hurt, comfort, happiness and romance. I know you guys would like it. Anyway please review and let me know what you guys think. **

**I don't won Flashpoint characters.**

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**Chapter 1**

_"You are going to pay for what you did."  
"I didn't do anything."  
"You are a liar. You killed them all. All of them."  
"I didn't. It was an accident. It is not my fault."  
"You killed them. You just bring shame and death to everyone."  
"I don't."  
"You are like a poison, everything and everyone you touch dies."  
"No, stop it. They were an accident. I didn't kill them."  
"Killer, killer, killer, KILLER!" _

Sam bolt out of the bed in a cold sweat, panting and gasping for breath. He couldn't believe the nightmares were back. But he shouldn't have been surprised. He was already showing signs the weekend before. The worst part was that this was just the beginning and there was no way of stopping them before they got worse. Last year he was able to hide it from team one because he took a week off during the time the nightmares got really extreme. But this year it wouldn't be possible, especially since they were short one team member. Lou died a few months back when he steps on an IED. He was pissed that Lou, who was a good person and would have saved a lot of people's life had to die like that and he was alive. During one of his tours, he had stepped on one but was saved by the bomb squad. A death, he thinks, he so much deserves because of the pain and suffering he had brought to the people around him. He also believed that he didn't deserved to be in this world, but he couldn't take his life. He had too much respect for life to do so and people needed him, even though he didn't feel like he makes a difference. So he wasn't sure how he was going to hide this from the team this year. They were already suspicious because he was colder and more distant lately. But he had to because if he didn't, then they would have been here this weekend and the last thing he needed was team one to know about what happens each year on the same day for the last twenty something years of his life. And that would bring questions that he would not answer.

"How do I even continue?" He asked himself and got up to get dress and go to work. He needed to be active and focus on work in order to get through the day and forget the pain he was feeling, both physically and mentally.

Sam arrived about half an hour before his shift. He usually was one of the first ones to make it to work, but he really didn't want to sit on the locker room and had morning talk with the team. So he made sure he got there with enough time to change but not enough time to listen to whatever the team was talking about. He did say his good mornings and answer when he had to but tried to keep to himself most the time. On their way to the conference room they met up with the girls. He said hi to Leah and then Jules and tried to avoid her. The last thing he needed was Jules trying to be his friend. He wasn't in the mood to be her friend, plus he was still upset that she broke up with him, but the fact that she assumed that Lou's death didn't bother him, just because he didn't seem upset, was worse. He was upset, not like Spike, because Lou was his best friend, but upset enough to have wanted to trade places with him. The only reason why he didn't go around being sad or showing any emotion was because he has seen too much death already especially by his hand to actually show any emotion by now. He shook his head and tried to forget Jules' issues with him and whatever else she was dealing with. He had enough on his plate, he thought. But it felt to deaf ears when he noticed the person that was staring out the window with his back to them. He knew that his world was going to turn upside down in a matter of minutes.

"Good morning team one." Greg said.

"Good morning." Everyone said in unison.

"Everyone have a sit. There's someone here that would like to speak to us and he won't speak until the entire team is together." Greg said and everyone was curious about what the man had to say that no one noticed how Sam tensed and sat closer to the door.

"What is this about?" Ed asked.

"He said he has vital Intel for us and that it would save our lives." Greg said frowning. He had been trying to get the man to talk for the last half an hour, but he wouldn't talk without the entire team.

"Go ahead, you have the room." Ed said and waited to see what the man had to say. When the man turned around and looked at everyone, his gaze landed on Sam. They held each other's stare and the team looks between them. They weren't sure what was going on, but they knew it wasn't going to be good, especially by the way the guy was staring at Sam.

"Sir, we are waiting." Ed snapped.

"My name is David Hunter and I am here to warn you that there is a killer among you. If you guys are not careful, he is going to kill you too." He said and glared at Sam while everyone gasped in shock. Well, all except for Sam who was staring blankly at the man?

"Sir." Greg started.

"No, this man here killed my son and he would do the same to you and your team. He is a cold blooded killer and he deserves to pay for what he did to my son. You hear me Braddock; you are going to pay for killing my son." He yelled.

"Mr. Hunter, he is a police officer and you can't come here accusing one member of my team for something we are not sure he did. Also you are threatening him by saying that you are going to make him pay." Greg said, trying his best not to escalate the situation. He was afraid that Sam would just react and the guy would get worse.

"He killed my son, Matt. They were both in the army together and he shot him. I know the truth and I swear that you would regret this. Soon you are going to get was coming to you. And trust me when I say that you are going to suffer worse than he did." He yelled at Sam and everyone looked between them, but Sam didn't move. He hadn't even shown any ounce of emotion toward the man and his threats, which worried the team.

"Sir, I am sorry for your loss, but you can't come here and threaten an officer. We will have to arrest you if you continue."

"I warned you, so you guys won't go through what my son did, but it's your funeral. And Braddock, I will be seeing you soon." He said and walked out before anyone could stop him.

Ed, Spike and Wordy follow the guy while Greg picked up the phone and called Winnie.

"Winnie, inform security that, that man is not allow to come in this building. Also I want all the information you can get about David Hunter." Greg said and hung up and looked at Sam. Jules and Leah stared at him with sympathy in their eyes, while he just stared at the window. A few minutes later Ed, Wordy and Spike came back.

"We lost him outside." Spike said and sat down.

"Sam, you need to press charges." Wordy said.

"No."

"Why not, he threatened you. I understand his son is dead but it was an accident, he can't come in here and threaten you in front us." Ed snapped. He wasn't going to allow anyone to threaten his team, especially for something he knew that Sam already beat himself for.

"He is in pain." Sam said.

"And it is understandable Sam, but he has threatened you by saying that he is going to make you pay and there is only one way that could happen. He wants you dead. He basically admitted it." Greg said and sighed.

"You need protection until we find him." Ed said.

"No" Sam said and everyone gasped.

"No? Why not?" Leah asked.

"He is just sad about losing his son. People say things they don't mean. He is grieving."

"Why the hell are you so calm?" Spike snapped.

"Spike" Greg said.

"No, it is true. Why is he so calm? This guy accused him in front of everyone. He threatened him and who knows what could happen and he is sitting there like this happens to him every day." Ed snapped too.

"Listen Sam, you could stay at my place, we just don't want you to be alone until we can handle the situation. We just worry about you."

"I am fine. No protection. It is my business." Sam snapped for the first time and got up. But before anyone could answer him, the SRU alarm went off and they took off to the cars.

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**Thank you and please review and tell me what you guys think. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much for the review. They mean a lot to me. This chapter is base on Behind the blue line. Were Sam want to leave the team. I change some things, and i hope you guys like it. Anyway thanking my friend HAVERA for being my beta, so the chapter it much better because of her. Please review and tell me what you guys think. I might even put up chapter 3 later. LOL. I am joking, i will update three later to, just give time to people get the details about each chapter. Thanks. **

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**Chapter 2**

"Greg, I am worried about this. Sam was too quiet. And I have a bad feeling about this guy Hunter."

"I am worried too Ed, but we can't tell him to stay back. He would most likely disappear on us. Plus I don't want him to be alone right now."

"I know, you are right. We just have to keep him focus on the job. Then we make sure he is alright. I know he has been distant and cold, but I think we have to push. If we don't it could be too late." Ed said.

"You are right." Greg said while calling Winnie on his cell.

"Boss." Winnie said when she answered.

"Hey, did you get anything on Hunter?"

"Not yet. I can't find anything on this guy. It's like he was erased from the world." Winnie said and sighed.

"Thank you Winnie. Let me know as soon as you find anything." Greg said.

"What happened?" Ed asked.

"She couldn't find anything on him. It's like everything about him was erased."

"How come?" Ed asked more to himself than Greg.

"I am wondering the same thing." Greg said and then got out the car and met with the rest of the team.

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**Sam POV**

I couldn't believe this was happening. After everything I was going through this week. I also had to deal with Matt's father. Who apparently wanted me dead and I could bet that he was trying to kill me on the same day that I killed his son, which is tomorrow. So I have 24 hours to make sure that the team stays off my back while also making sure that David didn't kill me. And that was, if the nightmares didn't kill me before. They say hate is a strong word and that deep down you really don't mean it, but I hate the man. I hate everything about him and what he makes people believe he stands for. He is just a bully, a murderer and a coward that couldn't stand up for his mistake. And now he had to bring Matt's father in it, after two years, just to hurt me. For the first time, I could say I hated a person.

"Sam, we are here." Leah said and I looked up to see Wordy and her watching me. I cleared my head and got out the car. I had to get my mind focused on the job.

The place was huge to be dealing with boobies' traps. Who knows what could happen in here but I am glad I was pair with Leah. The last thing I needed was the rest of the team feeling sorry for me. At least Leah didn't know me well enough and I didn't have to guard myself so much.

"Who the hell is this guy? Any thoughts?" Greg asked.

"Young voices. It sounds under 30." Leah answered.

"He mentioned the word unit. Maybe there is a military connection." I said, praying that it wouldn't. And if it was, I was hoping that this wasn't about me. The last thing I needed was for someone to try to get revenge on me today or even this week. I know I was just being paranoid. But this asshole loved messing with my head and I wouldn't put it pass him, to throw the shit in now.

"Everyone get back there." Ed said and we ran to the command office. We checked and no one was there. We found a secret passage and I was eager to go. We needed to get this over with, I could feel myself slipping.

"We should follow his trail before it gets cold." I said and like always, rules come first. And we needed to wait. Thank god for Leah who was willing to risk it like me?

"I will go with him." Leah said and I sighed in relief.

"Ok." And with that we followed behind our suspect. When we got to the door and Wordy tells us it's the locker room, I was about to continue when the can dropped in front of us. My first thought when it exploded was, we're dead. But when I realized it was phosphorus, I knew that this death would be worse.

"Fall back. Don't let it touch you." I yelled at Leah while we ran back to the team.

"Get water." I said and waited for Wordy to bring it and then put my arm in.

"I have to get this off." I said and started taking my uniform off.

"What the hell is it?'

"Phosphorus."

"Who gets their hands on phosphorus?" Greg asked.

"A lot of stuff you could get in the black market, but white phosphorus?" Spike said.

"Afghanistan. Left over from the war with the Russians" I said and for the life of me, I hope we don't find worse things than this.

"This guy is military." Greg said and I had a sick feeling.

"It didn't break the skin, you are going to be ok."

"And if it had?"

"It would have got in his bloodstream and damage his organs." Spike said.

"Son of bitch." Greg said and then everyone listened to the information Jules was giving them.

"I feel something. My knot feels something." I said and I knew it was true. Somehow this wasn't going to have a happy ending.  
Then I decided to offer my help and try to be the negotiator so I texted the guy.

**_"Sam Braddock here. Task Force K-bar. Where were you deployed?_"**

**_"Any relation to Col. Braddock, aka Col badass?"_**

_**"My dad, but he went by sir at home. You want to talk?**"_

I texted him and I was hoping he would call. I wanted to know who this guy was. Especially that he knew my father. Hey, but who didn't know the Braddock family in the military.

"Braddock." I said when I picked up the phone.

_"A.K.A badass junior."_

"That's right."

"What do I get to call you?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Keeping the peace."

_"I need you to leave."_

"It is good to be back. I haven't being here since the 94 play off, Chicago, game 5. See the game" I said, changing the subject.

_"I would have freaking kill to see the game. I had a turn in Hamilton."_ He said and with that we continued talking about why he was here and getting basically an idea about him. At least this time I knew it wasn't personal. The more I spoke with him, the more I understood him and I could see that he wasn't coping well with letting this place go.

"Guys you must be close he is not talking." I said and a few second later he hung up. Then I met up with the team in the lower floor and we couldn't find him. I convinced Greg and Ed to let me talk to him and try to get him out in the open. Especially after I found out what happen to his closet friend.

"I know what you went through over there." I said.

_"Everyone war is different"_ He said.

"You are right; I served with a friend too. He didn't make it." I said and Greg warned me not to push. But I wanted to make him understand that I could help. That he wasn't alone. After that Daren started telling me what happened to his friends and I explained to him that it wasn't his fault.

_"Do you know what that is like?"_

"Of course I do. I was the one that shot my best friend." I said.

_"Wait, two years ago. I didn't put it together. Everyone knows what happen, but there were no names involved. Oh, I am sorry man; I can't believe they put you through that."_ He said and I tensed. I could feel the team's curious stares.

"I know."

_"How did you do it?"_

"I got through it. I used to feel the same way you do. But I found something better. And you will too. Let me help you."

_"I am tired Sam. I see their faces every day._"

"It gets better. I promise."

_"I believe you."_ He said and with that he agreed to turn himself in. We all walk to the middle of the ring and we were talking to the guy coming toward us when we turned around and Darren was holding Spike at gun point.

"Stop man! What are you doing? Think about this. You don't need to do this. I promise we could get through this. You just have to trust me with this."

_"I am a good soldier and I needed you to know that."_

"I know that buddy. Trust me, I do. You just have to stay with me"

_"Sam, just know that I was honored to talk to you. It wasn't fair what they did to you and how they kicked you out of the army. But I am glad that you made it because there isn't any one on this earth that deserved peace and happiness more than you do. See you on the other side._" He said and with that Ed took the shot.

"Why did you do that? He wasn't going to shoot. We could stick it out." I yelled and I went to him. I couldn't believe he was dead. I couldn't believe that after everything I did, I couldn't save him.

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**Thank you, and please review. Let me know what you guys think.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Again thank you for all the reviews. And thank you to HAVERA for being my beta for this story. Please review and tell what you guys think.**

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**Chapter 3**

**Sam POV**

I couldn't continue standing there and watching Darren's dead body and feeling the team's sympathy. So I walked out to the car and waited until the team got back. On the way to the barn everyone tried to talk to me, especially Ed and Greg. I couldn't stand it. I just wanted to go shower and go home. It had being a long day and I knew it was just going to get worse. As soon as we got there, I got out of the car and headed towards the locker room.

"Sam, where are you going?" Greg stopped me.

"I am going to go shower and go home." I said.

"We are not finished here." Ed said.

"Maybe I am." I said and I could feel it. It was getting harder to do this job. I didn't think I could continue doing it.

"Get in there." Greg said and I just went to the conference room. I just needed to get this over with and go home.  
While we are in there Greg explained what happened and how Darren turned. Nobody could agree on anything especially me. But then they made me see that no matter what I did, he had given up already. That he was tired and he knew what he wanted. But he wanted me to kill him. Selfish bastard! After all the shit he said about knowing what I went through and that I deserved to be happy, he still decided to put me in that position. Just adding something else to the list of shit I feel guilty about.

"Sam you tried and you connected with him. He just knew what he wanted." Greg said.

"The only guy I should have been able to help and I couldn't. I don't belong here."

"Sam, we all know that you are going through a lot especially after this morning and you reopening wounds about what happened to Matt. But you are a great officer and a friend. You just need time and you will see things differently." Greg said.

"Honestly at this point it doesn't even matter." I said and with that I walked away. I needed to shower and get out of here. I couldn't continue dealing with this.

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**SRU Conference room**

"Boss, I am worried." Wordy said.

"We all are." Greg said and sighed.

"We need to do something about it. We can't let him quit." Spike said.

"I know" Greg said.

"He could use a break." Leah said and they all nodded.

"He could, but why does it feel that we are letting him down?" Jules said.

"While he is alone getting a break, we are working long hours and we won't be able to keep an eye on him. And god forbids that something happens to him." Greg said.

"What do you think Darren meant about Sam getting kicked out? What did the army do to him?" Ed asked.

"You caught that too."

"We all did, but I don't think is the right time to ask." Jules said.

"We should ask the commander or check his military file." Spike said.

"You guys are right. First we need to make sure he is alright and that he doesn't stay alone after Hunter's threats this morning" Greg said and the team went to change quickly to try to be there before Sam left.

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**Sam POV**

Selfish bastards! Why do I have to deal with them all my life? I understand he was sick, but now I had to live with the guilt for the rest of my life. I wish he would have taken the shot and save me the trouble of dealing with all this emotions and bullshit I am dealing with. Instead of making me realize that I can't save anyone. That I am a killer and everything and everyone I touch I kill.

This couldn't get any better even if he had planed it himself. That is what he wanted. He wanted me to drive myself crazy, slowly, until I took my life away or gave up. The moment I give up he wins. But I can't do that. I can't continue working here. David was right I was putting the team in danger. I could hardly tell the difference between making a difference and being a cold blooded killer. I needed to get out here. I needed a breather, I felt like I was suffocating.

"Sam." Someone said and I groaned. Why they couldn't just leave me alone. I turned around and they were all there. What the hell do they want now? I didn't need a baby-sitter. I noticed they put my stuff back and I sighed. What was I going to do now? I was a ticking bomb and if David was to have his way, I would be dead by tomorrow. Maybe I should stay with the team tonight and regroup before I had to deal with him. I nod and I decide to follow them. Who knows maybe I start to heal this time. I am passed the point that I can't even think anymore.

The team was talking about going to the Goose and getting a drink and then going home. I didn't even bother to disagree because I knew they wouldn't let me in the first place.

"Hey Sam someone is here to see you." Winnie said and we could tell she was nervous.

"If it is the guy from this morning, he is not allowed to be here." Ed said.

"It is not him." She said and I prayed to whatever god was out there, that it won't be more trouble today.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"She didn't give me a name. She only said she was your wife." Winnie said and everyone's jaws dropped, while I tensed. If she was here then the situation just got extremely worse.

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**Thank you and please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you everyone for the reviews. Thanks to my beta HAVERA, she amazing for helping me out with this story. Please don't forget to review and tell me what you guys think. How would i know if i am doing a good job if you guys don't tell me. The story so far has 20 chapters and counting and i know you guys would like each one of them. **

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**Chapter 4**

**SRU Headquarters**

"Where is she? How long has she been here?" Sam yelled.

"She has been here a while, but the boss said not to interrupt you guys and she said she would wait." Winnie said.

"I am sorry Winnie. Where is she?" Sam said and combed his hair with his hands.

"She is in the break room." Winnie said softly seeing how defeated Sam looked already. He mumbled his thanks and walked away with team one on his heels.

Team one noticed how Sam approached the woman and as soon as she saw him she was sobbing and clinging to him like her life depended on it. But the blonde woman wasn't what shocked the team the most. It was the three blonde kids that also clung to Sam while he held all of them. After a few minutes of watching them, Sam got the woman to calm down and then he helped her with the kids and started to walk toward the door.

"Sam." Greg started.

"No. Not about this." He said and with that he walked away with his family, while team one stared after him. They stood there for a long time watching the door, when Spike broke the silence.

"He has a wife?" He said.

"Looks like it. And children too." Wordy said and you could hear the confusion on his voice. Leah just nodded and looked around between all of them. But Ed and Greg were too busy watching Jules' reaction about everything that had just happened. She had gone pale.

"We need find out if it is true." Spike said.

"No we need to go home. It is his personal business. He has been through a lot today, he needs a break." Greg said and with that Jules mumbled her goodbyes and left before they started asking question.

"Jules…" Greg said but she was already gone.

"Let her go Greg, she is hurting and she wants to be alone. What are we going to do now? This is going to be difficult on her, on us. Sam didn't even trust us enough to tell us he has a wife and three kids." Ed snapped.

"Nothing on his record said he was married." Spike said.

"How do you know?" Wordy asked.

"I checked." He said and everyone shook their heads.

"It is true, nothing on his record said he was married. And I don't believe Sam would have played with Jules' feelings like that. There is something else going on here. He was worried and scared." Greg said.

"Well, we will find out tomorrow." Ed said and with that everyone went home.

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_"Who is it?" Sam asked._

_"She didn't give me a name. She only said she was your wife."_ Winnie's voice echoed in Jules' head while she drove home with tears running down her chocolate brown eyes.

Jules was stunned to hear that Sam had a wife, but that wasn't what shattered her heart, it was the fact that besides the beautiful blonde, there were also three beautiful blonde children in his arms too. And at that moment she just wanted the ground to open and swallow her. She couldn't believe that he had played her like that. That she risk her job for him. He had the nerve to be mad at her because she chose the job over him but it was all a game to him. He just wanted to fuck her and when he got tired, he had run back to his beautiful family, while she slowly fell in love with him. And she did fall in love with him. He made her dream about things that she gave up a long time ago. Made her want a husband, children and believe in a happy ever after. But everything was shattered in matter of seconds. He already had his happy ever after. Now she needed to try her best not to let the news break her even more than she already was. She needed to be strong and move on, and concentrate on her job because if she didn't, then she was sure this time she wouldn't make it. She would have to realize that everything she worked for was for nothing, without him or a family of her own. With this thought she cried herself to sleep.

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**Sam POV**

I thought nothing else could make this day any worse, but I was wrong. Stephanie was here and it must be really serious if she came all this way here and with the kids. I could feel the team behind me and at this point I didn't care. When she sees me she starts crying and throws herself in my arms, while holding the baby in the other. I feel two pair of small hands hugging my leg and I know it serious. They look scared.

"What happened?" I asked trying to calm her down.

"He showed up at the house." She said sobbing.

"Who showed up?" I asked but I already knew the answer to that. And this time I knew for sure I needed to kill him.

"Matt's father. He said that you were going to pay for what you did to his son. Also that I should be ashamed of myself because I knew it was you that kill him. How did he find out Sammy?"

"Look, we have to get out of here. Let's go." I said because I couldn't have this conversation here. I grabbed the two oldest kids and headed toward the door, where the team was standing.

"Sam." Greg started.

"No. Not this." I snapped. I needed to protect my family first and I couldn't deal with the questions now or worse the disappointment, especially the one that was going to hunt me for a while, Jules' pale face.  
After half an hour I had them checked in the Royal hotel in a private room where no one could reach them.

"You guys are going to stay here. The room is paid for and I am going to get you guys anything you need for a few days. I don't want you going home or to my apartment. He is piss and most likely he is looking for me. Until I deal with this situation you guys can't leave this room." I tell Stephanie while she puts the kids to bed.

"Sam" She said.

"No Stephanie. I don't know what he is capable of. He might hurt you too, just to get to the kids. I can't risk that. I can't let anything happen to you guys. I don't think I could survive that. Please just stay here." I begged and sat down in one of the couches. This was too much. I just didn't even know what to think anymore.

"Oh Sammy, I love you. I am so sorry. I can just imagine how bad it is for you. Don't worry we are not going anywhere. Stay tonight."

"I can't. I need to find him."

"What are you going to do when you find him?" She asked.

"I am going to try and reason with him and make him understand that it was an accident."

"And if he doesn't understand?"

"Then he is dead." I said and she nodded and came and sat next to me and hugged me tight.

"Please stay." She said and this time I was the one to nod. Then she got up grabbing my hand and pulled me to the bed where we laid down with the kids. I stared at them and all I kept thinking was that I needed to keep them safe, that I was doing the right thing by killing him if he continued to threaten my family.

"Sam, how do you think he found out?" Stephanie asked.

"Who do you think?" I said and I could even hear the bitterness in my voice.

"I hate him. I can't believe he would do that."

"Why are you surprise? He hates me because of what happen to Alyssa. And the thought that I could be happy or even be better than he is, just makes his blood boiled."

"I am sorry Sammy. I wish that we could just disappear and have a better life. But most of all I wish I could turn back time and stop all the pain and suffering you had to deal over the years."

"Hey, we survived. We are survivals and we would get through this. So don't worry about anything. I promise I will keep you guys safe." I said and kiss her on the forehead.

"You know if the situation wasn't serious. It would have being hilarious the stunned faces of your team." She said and giggled.

"That's true." I said but my smile didn't reach my eyes because one person's face kept popping in my head in front of everything else, the face of the only woman I had ever fallen in love with and still love.

"I saw her. She looked hurt. I feel bad for her. Right now she must be crying her heart out thinking you used her. That she was the other woman and came between a married couple but is not true."

"I know is not true and I am sorry for the pain that she must be feeling right now, but you guys come first. I couldn't stop and explain. Plus after the day that I had, the last thing I wanted to do was to open up and talk about my feelings or my family and all the bullshit I am hiding. I just need a break."

"It was really bad today right."

"Yeah, beside David accusing me of been a killer in front of the team. I lost a subject that I was negotiating to surrender and this thing with you guys, I am on the edge of the cliff. One more push and I going to fall and hard."

"And you are not sleeping. The nightmares started again."

"Yeah."

"I am sorry Sammy. I would make it better for you if I could. I love you so much." She said.

"Me too, I love you guys so much too." I said and with that I concentrated on their breathing trying to relax and maybe get some sleep. But I knew that it wasn't going to come. Today had been hell. Now I have to deal with David and make sure that he doesn't kill me or my family. And there is the possibility that I might have to kill him. And it might just be on the same day that I killed his son two years ago. Because knowing him, he would find that as a perfect day for revenge and try to find me tomorrow. Also, I will have to deal with my job and decide if continuing in the SRU was the right thing for me. To top it off, I needed to explain Stephanie and the kids to the team because I could just imagine how betrayed they feel right now, especially Jules. And let's not forget the nightmares and all the shit that is coming.

"It is going to be alright." She said and felt asleep. It's like she can read my mind. I look at her and the kids and I remember why I still have hope and keep on living. Jules' beautiful face crosses my mind and I know that if I could get it right with her then maybe, just maybe everything would be alright.

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**Thank you again and please don't forget to review. **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you everyone for the reviews. Thank you to my friend HAVERA who beta this story and thank you everyone who don't review but still follow the story. **

* * *

**Chapter 5**

_"Killer, you kill them all."  
"No."  
"Look around you, they are all dead." And he could see so clearly how Matt, Stephanie, the kids, Jules and everyone he ever loved was dead and by his own hand.  
"No." _Sam screamed and jerked when he felt someone's hands on him.

"It is alright Sam. It is me Greg."

"What are you doing?" Sam asked.

"I could ask you the same thing. You are in the barn Sam. It is early yet for our shift."

"Oh yeah." Sam said and rubbed his face to shake the fear he felt.

"Sam you know that you can talk to me." Greg said noticing how tired and beat down Sam looked.

"I know, but not today." Sam said and got up to get ready while Greg just sighed. He knew he could push him to talk but he had a feeling that pushing Sam right now, would make him to close off even more and that was the last thing he wanted to do.

An hour later the team met up in the conference room. Everyone looked like shit especially Sam and Jules. Her eyes were swollen but everyone was smart enough not to point that out. And Sam looked like he had aged 20 years and was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"Good morning everyone. Today we are taking it easy. We are backing up team 3. So we are doing some training, inventory and also make sure that the gun cage and everything else is clean." Greg said.

"Yes sir." Everyone answered and followed Ed's orders as to who was to work with whom.

Two hours later, team one met up in the gun cage and they all help cleaning it. While they were there, everyone noticed how Sam got closer to Jules. She stiffened but tried her best to stay calm because the team was watching.

"Jules, can I please talk to you?" Sam asked and she looked at him. They stared at each other for a few seconds before she nodded and walked to the break room with Sam following her.

* * *

**Jules POV**

"Jules." Sam said.

"Sam you don't owe me an explanation. It was just sex." I said and I saw the hurt that crossed his eyes before he closed off. I mentally kicked myself for being responsible for the cold distant look on his eyes.

"I do, because even if it was just sex. I don't want you to believe that I used you. I didn't. I would never play with your feelings like that or make you ashamed of something that was special. I am sorry if you feel this way. And I promise you that what we had was and is the most special thing that had ever happen to me. You were real Jules and you still are." He said and I could see he meant it. But I couldn't get pass the wife and three kids.

"So, how long have you been married? Because it couldn't be after we broke up. It has only been a few months and apparently you have three kids." I snapped. I couldn't take it. It was killing me to hear him talking about us being special when the memory of his family kept playing in my head like a broken record.

"It's complicated. I promise I will tell you everything, but I can't right now." He said and sighed. I could see that he was frustrated, tired and looked beat and it hurt me to see him like that. But he had too many secrets, to much going on right now, and I was so confused. I hated him and loved him so much.

"Sam." I started but we were interrupted by the alarm and Winnie's voice over the speakers. We jogged to the front desk and met up with the rest of the team.

"What is going on?" Ed asked.

"Hostage situation, team 3 is there but they going to need help, not sure where is coming from."

"What do you mean?" Greg asked.

"Report says they heard shots and then a few cameras went out. They can't locate the suspect and the place is huge."

"Where is it?" Sam asked and I could see the tension on his face. Something wasn't right.

"The Royal Hotel." Winnie said and Sam almost lost his balance.

"Fucking hell. I can't fucking believe it." Sam cursed while trying to calm his shaking hand.

"Sam, What?" Ed asked everyone closing on him. He looked pale and ready to explode.

"We need to go. Winnie, tell Donna is the 4th floor, room 422. That is where her suspect is. "Fucking asshole I am going to kill him." Sam said and we all followed him toward the cars.

"Sam, talk to me. Who are you going to kill?" Greg asked.

"David. He found them and he is trying to make sure I pay for killing his son."

"Who are them?" Greg asked, but I already knew who he was talking about. We all did.

"Your wife and kids?"

"Yeah." Sam said and everyone heard the defeated tone in his voice.

"We will get them out safely." Wordy said and I hoped to god that he was right. The last thing Sam needed right now, was something happening to his family.

"Yes we will. We won't let anything happen to them." Spike said.

"I knew we needed to keep an eye on him." Ed snapped.

"Ed." Greg warned.

"He is right. I knew he was mad, and I also knew he was coming after me, but I didn't think he would go as far as to use them, to hurt me." Sam said and something on his tone said that this was inevitable. That no matter what, no one was going to prevent it.

"What makes you so sure, that he was coming after you no matter what?" Greg asked voicing my question.

"Matt died today" Sam said and Ed cursed.

"What does that mean?" Spike asked before getting to the same conclusion that we all did. David wanted Sam dead today. The same day he killed his son.

"He is doing that to bring you here. You can't go in there." Greg said and we could hear the worry in his voices. He tried hard not to show it but it was a hard situation to deal with. It was personal. And even if I felt betrayed and hurt that Sam had a family, I wouldn't wish harm on any of them, including Sam.

"Honestly Sir, at this moment there isn't anything you guys could do to stop me from going in there. Trust me when I say that I will get in there with your permission or not and will get through anybody to do it." He said and we could hear the cold threat in his voice. He sounded so cold and dangerous, that I shiver just by hearing it.

"Let just get there." Ed said and with that everyone was left to their own thoughts. I silently prayed that nothing happens to his family because I know that he wouldn't survive it. And for the first time I felt lost and scared that everything would go wrong.

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**Again thank you and please don't forget to review and tell me what you guys think. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you everyone for the reviews. I know you guys have a lot of questions but they would be answer in the next few chapters. Anyway thank you HAVERA for being my beta and making this story much better. Please review and tell me what you guys are thinking.**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

When team one arrived to the Royal Hotel, they grabbed their gear and headed towards the command post that team three had set up.

"Donna, what's the situation so far?" Greg asked.

"So far we have a male suspect holding hostages, a woman and three small children. We were able to place a camera in the room and we are watching them, but there is no way in besides the door. So we have no advantage point to go in. The room is under Alyssa Williams, they checked in last night, paid cash and avoid each surveillance camera in the hotel. There was a man with them and he guided them. How did you know which room it was?"

"That's Sam's family and the guy holding them is trying to kill him."

"I am sorry to hear that." Donna said and the rest of team three nodded showing their sympathy and concern.

"Were you able to make contact?" Ed asked.

"We tried but he wouldn't talk." A team three member said.

"We need more information." Donna said.

"I know." Greg said and sighed. "Winnie hasn't been able to gather anything on Matt's father, it's like he disappeared from the planet. "

"I'll try calling again."

"Let me try. I don't think I can hold Sam much longer."

"Alright." Donna said and motioned for her teammate to connect team one to their channel.

"Hello, this is Sargent Greg Parker with the Strategic Respond Unit. Can I ask your name?"

"It took you long enough. Put Sam on."

"Mr. Hunter, I can't do that right now."

"You put him on or I will put a bullet in one of her hands." He said calmly, too calmly for the team's comfort.

"Please don't do that." Greg said and motioned for Sam to come while Donna asked her teammate to put the conversation through everyone's head sets.

"Hello." Sam said.

"It's about time asshole."

"What do you want?" Sam asked.

"You know what I want. I want you dead today."

"Yeah, I got that a long time ago. Why did go after them? You don't need them. You could have me anytime."

"This bitch knew the whole time." He yelled and everyone heard a slap, then Stephanie screaming and the kids crying.

"Don't touch her you son of bitch." Sam snapped and turned red with anger. Greg disconnected the call.

"Sam you need to calm down." Greg said.

"Calm down! He is going to kill her no matter what." Sam snapped again and walked away. He knew he needed to keep an open mind. But deep down he knew that something really bad was going to happen.

"Don't say that. Why are you saying that?" Leah protested. She wasn't ready to see the defeated look on Sam.

"Cause is true." Sam whispered.

"Sam." Jules said trying her best to stay strong for him.

"I know." He said and went back to the phone. David picked up after one ring.

"Get in here." He yelled.

"Let them go."

"No. They stay."

"No. You are not going to kill me in front of your grandkids and if you survive they would hate you." Sam said and everyone gasped. They look at one another mirroring each other confused faces except for one person.

"They are too young to remember. Plus they would know that I did it because you killed their father."

"You said you loved Matt and that you are doing this for him but you think he would be ok with you killing me in front of them and you putting them in this situation? You let them go or I won't go in."

"We both will be dead so might as well take them too." He said and Stephanie screamed and another slap was heard.

"Stop hitting her. You touch my sister one more time and I swear I would kill you with my own hands." Sam said while Jules echoed sister.

"Get in here."

"Let them go."

"Just the kids and come in with no gun and no vest."

"Ok." Sam said and dropped the connection.

"No." Everyone said.

"Not asking." Sam said and proceeded to take his gear off.

"Sam he is going to kill you and there is also a chance that he is going to kill them too. We have no solution, no way in or a spot to put a sniper and he might not let go of the kids and it would be hard to go in with them there."

"Yeah, I made sure I pick the room that way, my mistake. He will let the kids go, they are his grandkids. Just tape a gun to my back where I will be able to reach it under my shirt. I would try my best to diffuse him but my sister comes first. Don't worry about me. Please Leah and Jules grab the kids as soon as they are out and take them downstairs. I don't want them around this. Promise me." He said looking at them.

"Yes Sam." Leah said and Jules nodded, letting her eyes speak for her.

"Be careful." Greg said.

"Thanks." Sam said and walked towards the room. Ed and Donna were covering him, while Wordy and Leah stood to his left and Spike and Jules to his right. When the door opened, the kids were right in front of it crying, their faces red and stained with tears. David was holding Stephanie at gun point and her face was also red from crying and being slapped several times.

"Just the kids Sam, tell them to stay back. I am not stupid. She will be dead before they come in." He yelled and pressed the gun to her head harder.

"Ok." Sam said and everyone moved one step back except Sam. He reached in and grabbed the first child and passed it to Leah, then passed the second one to Spike and the third one to Jules. But before anyone could react he was already closing the door behind the team.

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**Thank you again and please don't forget to review. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you everyone for the reviews. A lot of you guys were right and here are some of the answers. Please don't hate me at the end of the chapter. Thanks to HAVERA for being my beta for this story. Please review and tell me what you guys think. **

* * *

**Chapter 7**

"Report!" Greg yelled through their head sets trying to get back to the camera and see what was going on.

"Sam is behind the door and the suspect is still holding his sister at gun point." A member of team three informed everyone.

"Spike, get in here. I want to know the whole story, down to the kids' names." Greg snapped.

"Joshua, get your military contacts and find out more information on Sam's and Matt's family." Donna said looking at both teams and trying her best to come out with a solution.

"Spike won't find anything and I don't have too contact anybody. I know the whole story." Joshua said and everyone just stared at him.

"Well enlighten us." Ed snapped.

"The Braddock family is very popular in the army. They are wealthy and their commitment to the military has been running in the family from generations. Sam was raised to be in the military. When he joined the army at 18, he met Matt and they became real close friends. Those two were inseparable. Matt came from a lower class family and he got in the army to support his parents. His mother was sick and the bills were mounting. He figured that by joining the army he could help his mother. They were so close they went everywhere together. One day Matt met Sam's twin sister and fell in love." Joshua said and everyone gasped.

"You mean the hostage is Sam's twin sister?" Spike asked the question on everybody's head.

"Yes, she is his twin sister. He also has another two sisters. He is the only male. Anyway, Matt and Stephanie fell in love and the three became inseparable. They got married and had three kids, 5 year old Matthew Jr., 3 year old Alyssa and 18 months old baby Kristin. About two years today we were on a mission and Sam was ordered to take some targets. He didn't know that Matt wasn't out of the targeted area and end up killing him. It wasn't his fault, he was ordered to fire and once you get the green light to practically light the place like fireworks, it's hard to stop."

"Is any of this on his record?" Donna asked wondering why no one knew about this.

"His records are sealed. He was Special Forces and it was a secret mission. Not a lot people know what happened there."

"So how did Matt's father find out and why we can't find anything on him?" Ed asked more to himself than anyone else.

"Don't know." He said but everyone got the feeling that he was lying.

"How do you know all this?" Donna asked.

"I am an army brat. I grew up with the Braddock family and I dated one of his sisters." Joshua said.

"Joshua, was Matt father around a lot?" Greg asked.

"That's the thing, he left the mother. It was hard on Matt because he was out on missions while she was alone struggling to survive. Sometimes Stephanie would go up and stay with her."

"So what has changed now? Well, besides the death of his son." Donna said.

"Don't know." Joshua said and again the teams got the impression that he was lying.

"Hey guys, they are talking now." A team three member said and everyone turned to watch the screen.

* * *

"I am here, let her go." Sam said.

"No. You would both pay for my son's death"

"This is not her fault. Why are you doing this to them? That is the woman your son fell in love with and the mother of your grandkids. Is it because she my sister?"

"That is one of the reasons." He yelled and pushed Stephanie on the bed.

"Don't touch her." Sam yelled. "What's the other reason?" He asked when David pointed the gun at him.

"Because she knew that you killed him and she still stayed with you and even spent time with you."

"She is my twin sister, of course she knew. I couldn't hide that from her. I killed her husband and father of her kids. You think I wouldn't be honest? She forgave me and every single day I make sure that she and those kids have someone there for them."

"What about me? I didn't deserve to know. It took two years for me to find out the truth and when I went to her house yesterday to tell her, imagine my shock when I found out that she already knew."

"Let her go. She has nothing to do with this."

"Are you not listening? She betrayed my son but associating with his killer." He snapped.

"She didn't betray anybody. You did." Sam snapped back.

"What?"

"You heard me. You were the one that betrayed your son. You left them when they both needed you the most and now you want to come here demanding payback. You killed your son the moment you walked out on him and his sick mother for a younger woman." Sam yelled back letting all his frustration out. Feeling the situation was escalating, Greg ordered the team to break the door and go in.

It all happened so fast. David yelled "Fuck you" and pulled the trigger killing Stephanie. Not a second later Sam shot David dead and the team stormed in.

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**Thank you and please review and tell me what you guys think. And I know I am cruel to have Sam hurting like that.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thank you everyone for the reviews and not hating me. Thanks to HAVERA for making this chapter possible and thank you to everyone that reads this story. I know it seem harsh for his sister to die. And as much as i love Sam he is going to go through a lot. But Jules and team one would be there. **

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**Chapter 8**

"Status" Greg yells.

"The hostage is dead and so is the suspect." Wordy said and watch Ed approach Sam.

"Sam! Sam!" Ed kept saying but Sam was frozen on the spot staring at his sister body. The rest of the team joined them in the room but everyone was still at edge. The subject may be dead but no one knew how Sam was going to react.

"Sam buddy, look at me. Can I get your gun?" Greg asked but Sam didn't move, didn't even blink. He just kept staring at her. Greg tried to reach for the gun, but Sam tensed visibly. He looked ready to attack and everyone move one step back except for Joshua. He walked right up to Sam and got in his line of vision.

"Walk away." He said and waited for Sam to look at him. After a few long tense minutes, Sam looks at Joshua. They stared at each other and everyone sense that they were coming to an understanding, but no one was sure if it was good or bad. Then Sam hands Joshua his gun and walks away.

"What did you agree to do?" Greg asked.

"Nothing" Joshua said and walks away too.

"Spike, Wordy, follow Sam back to the SRU. Leah, Jules take the kids there too." Greg said.

"Yes sir." Everyone said.

"Greg what are we going to do? Sam is right on the edge of the cliff and I am afraid that any small thing can send him over it. Based on Joshua's reaction, I'm afraid that those two can be a problem, especially with them being so damn skilled at killing and sneaking around." Donna said and sighs.

I know. We just need to deal with one thing at a time." Greg said and walks away. He wasn't sure that Sam would survive this, especially after the last couple of days he had. Considering it was only morning Greg wonders what else this day can bring them and prays that whatever it is, it brings a positive note to this already dreadful day.

* * *

**Jules POV**

I should have trusted him. I should have listened to him and not jump down his throat for betraying me. I know he has a lot of secret, but deep down I knew that he loved me and that this was real. But I was blinded by the perfect picture that his sister and kids painted and now I wish that I could had handle it better. That at least he knew that I wasn't angry at him. But it's too late now, because no matter what, our relationship and our love doesn't matter compare to what he is going through. His twin sister is now dead and it happened on the same day he killed his best friend. I know Sam is going to blame himself for this, especially since there are three orphan kids right now. Three beautiful and innocent children with big blue eyes scare to death because they don't know what's going on. They don't know that now they don't have a mother and a father to watch them grow and the only guardian that they may have blames himself for what happened and no one knows if he will survive it. I hope he does and I'm going to make sure he does because Sam deserves to be happy. He deserves to be loved and shown what it means to be trusted but above all, he deserves to know that he can love someone and it doesn't mean that he is going to kill them.

"Oh, Jules" Leah said and I could see the tears on her eyes. I could feel mine too, but I am trying to stay strong. I never felt so lost and alone. All I want to do it take Sam and these kids and wrap them in my arm and protect them from this evil world. But I know it not the easy.

"I know. Oh Sammy." I said and the baby looks at me. She is being quiet and staring at everyone. Her tiny fingers reach my cheek and touch it and my heart breaks. I hug her to me chest and start crying more. It's like they can sense it and all three kids started crying while they clung to Leah and me.

"I want my mommy." The second child yelled through her wailing and there was nothing we could do but let her cry. Then I spotted Sam and a uniform officer walking toward us. Behind them it was Joshua, Spike and Wordy and further down the rest of the team. The little boy Matthew spotted Sam and ran towards him. Sam picks him up and hugs him. I looked at him as he walked closer and couldn't read his face. There were no tears, not sorrow. It was just blank and that worried me even more. He is closed off and that is a really bad sign. Sam sat down on the sofa and Leah and I brought the girls to him. He didn't even bother to look at us. It was as if we weren't even there. We stepped back and we watch him with the kids. They clung to him and continue crying.

"We need to go." The uniform officer said.

"Give them a minute." Greg said and Sam started talking to the kids.

"He is not supposed to talk." The uniform guy said again.

"Back off." I snapped and I notice that Joshua stood in front the officer and glare at him. He visually tense, shudder and then backed off. Forget the statement and procedure. He just lost his sister.

"I want mommy." Alyssa, the middle child, said through her sobbing.

"I know honey, but you see, mommy is with Daddy now and they are in a good place together and they're watching over us."

"Are they in heaven?" Matthew, the oldest, asks while cleaning the tears out his eyes.

"Yes, they are. I know right now, it hurts a lot but it gets better. I promise you guys that I would protect you and nothing would happen to you. I love you as much as your parents loved you and we are going to get through this."

"You promise?" Matthew asked again and for the first time pain crossed through Sam's eyes before they went blank again. How can he be able to block all the pain out? How does he survive by blocking everything that it's killing him? And why the hell I never notice how much pain and vulnerable Sam is?

"I promise." He said and hugs them.

"Sam." Joshua said and for the first time I notice how close him and Sam are. I could see that he too was keeping his expression blank. I wonder if it is a military thing. A person can't shut their emotions off and on in less than a second, something always show. But this two are perfect at it and not even Greg or I could read them and that's bad. That just means danger.

"I have to go, but you guys would follow me with Uncle Joshua and our friends and as soon as I am done we go home."

"Ok." Matthew said and got up. Then Sam handle the girls too Joshua and for a moment I felt empty. I felt betrayed and sad that I wasn't the one he trusted with the kids. But above all I felt jealous because I couldn't take care of them like they were mine. And that just broke my heart even more.

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**Thank you and please don't forget to review.**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you everyone for the reviews. Sorry for not updating sooner but I am back to work and I tend to forget to update. lol. Anyway thanks to HAVERA for making this chapter better and I hope you guys like it. Please leave a review so I could know that you guys like the story.**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

The ride back to headquarters was short. Everyone was in their own thoughts and silently praying that Sam would be alright and that he would survive this.

"What happened?" Holleran asked as soon as everyone walked in. He noticed not only all the sad faces but also the three kids that Leah, Jules and Wordy were carrying.

"We had a situation, which went wrong." Donna said.

"I can see that. I don't know the details I just got here and saw Sam talking to SIU. It doesn't look good."

"Well the suspect kidnapped a woman and her three kids. They turned out to be Sam's twin sister and her kids." Greg said.

"Not Stephanie, please tell me you are lying." Holleran begged.

"Yeah, apparently Matt's father found out that Sam killed him two years ago and decided to get revenge. Things escalated and before we could go in, he killed Stephanie and Sam shot him." Greg said and Holleran paled.

"No, please tell me it didn't happen in front of him. I am so sorry Sam." Holleran whispered and sat down. He couldn't believe how life has treated Sam, the unfairness and injustice of it all.

"Tell me everything." He said and both teams explained what happened, even everything that had happened the previous day.

"You are telling me that David was here threating him and no one did anything!" Holleran snapped.

"He didn't want to press charges and we follow up by looking up information about him and putting an APB for him. We never found him. Winnie wasn't able to find anything about him." Greg snapped. He didn't push the subject yesterday but he definitely followed up in his own time. He needed to make sure Sam was safe.

"You won't find anything on him." Holleran said.

"How come?" Ed snapped. He was tired of both, Joshua and Holleran saying the same thing.

"Yes, why is that? Even Joshua said the same thing." Donna said and everyone waited for an answer while Holleran and Joshua looked at each other.

"Because there's only one way he could have found out and only one way that you won't find anything on him." Holleran said and sighed.

"Which is?" Ed asked, but before he could answer, they heard a commotion coming from Winnie's desk and turned around. When everyone turned around they notice a young lady arguing with Winnie.

"Miss, you can't just walk in here. You need to tell me…" Winnie started but got cut off by Holleran.

"Winnie is alright." He said and the lady turned to look at the group. Her gaze landed on Joshua and she rushed towards him crying.

"It's alright honey." Joshua said.

"Who is that?"

"That is Sam's younger sister." Holleran said and the team nod while he frown.

"What is going on?" Greg asked noticing Holleran frown.

"Nothing." He said and Greg sighed. He had a feeling that those three were hiding something. Something that had to do with how all this started.

Team one and three continued to sit around or pace in front of the conference room waiting for Sam. The children were sleeping and the teams had changed in their regular clothes. In the corner Joshua was talking to Sam's sister and explaining what happened after she had calm down.

"I am going to kill him. I swear he is going to pay for this." Sam's sister screamed at Joshua and everyone just stared at them.

"Sh, keep your voice down." Joshua said trying his best not to draw attention to them.

"No, I am tired of this shit. My other sister is dead because of him. I could kill him with my bare hands." She yells and everyone looks at each other. They were confused. Is she blaming Sam or someone else? Do they have another sister that got killed by Sam too? They didn't know what to think, all they knew was that something wasn't right and that Sam had too many secrets.

"Shut up Natalie. Just shut up and stop with your tantrum. Every time you do he pays and I think he had enough. So shut up and let him deal with this. Don't make it worse." Joshua snapped and everyone gasped.

"I am sorry." She said and started crying. He hugged her and took her to the bathroom.

"Greg what do you think that was all about?" Donna asked.

"I don't know."

"Is she blaming Sam? I don't think he needs that right now?" Wordy said.

"I know but we just have to wait and see." Greg said.

"What do you think she meant about another sister dead?" Ed asked and looks at Holleran.

"The sister after Sam and Stephanie was killed by a car when they were 9 years old. Sam was walking her to the park." Holleran said and everyone gasped. Tears ran down Jules's and Leah's faces. The amount of pain that Sam had to be deal with is nothing compare to what they had imagine.

"Oh Samtastic." Ed said and you could hear the pain in his voice too. Then Joshua and Natalie walked back at the same time the door to the conference room opened. The lady from SIU came out. Holleran motion for her to talk to him, Greg and Donna, but she wanted to talk to the teams too. She didn't believe in hiding things.

"Look, we still need to review all the information regarding today's incident and reach a conclusion as to what happened. Until such a time, team one and three are suspended" She said.

"Why?"

"Something went wrong and a woman is dead. And until it's proven that everyone did what they had to do, this case is still open."

"What about Sam?" Greg asked.

"You are team's sergeant right? Let me ask you a question. During the last week did you guys had any calls were Mr. Braddock was injured?"

"No, why?" Greg said and everyone looked at each other confused except for two people.

"Well apparently his has bruises all over his torso. And it looks like he might have some crack ribs." She said and everyone gasped.

"Did he say how he got them?" Holleran asked.

"No, he said it didn't happen at work and he didn't need to talk about it." She said and passed them the photos they had taken of his body. He was bruised from neck down, except the arm and face. It looks like he was tortured.

"So what happens now?"

"Well Sam can't come back until he gets an evaluation and passes it. Even if he passes the evaluation I don't know if he will be able to come back." She said and walked away. At that exact moment Sam stepped out of the room. His face was expressionless and not even Greg could read it.

"Sam, we need to talk." Greg said. He understands he had a hell of a day but the bruises just bring everything that has happened to whole different level. He needs to push him before things get worse.

"Yes." Sam said and continue staring forward not really looking at anyone.

"What happen to you? How did you get the bruises?" Greg asked.

"Not now." Joshua snapped and everyone turned to look at him.

"Joshua is right, not today. Let it go Greg." Holleran said and with that Sam walks up to the kids. Natalie reaches him at the same time and hugs him tight. They pick up the kids and as they were heading out when someone stopped them.

"You can't take the kids with you." The woman said. Sam tensed and put his family behind him trying to shield them.

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**Thank you and please don't forget to review. **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews. You guys are great and I am happy you guys like the story. I know right now it seem like Sam is going through hell but he does get good chapters. Anyway thanks to Havera for making this chapter and story amazing and please don't forget to review and let me know what you guys are thinking. **

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**Chapter 10**

"What do you mean he can't take the kids with him?" Greg asked.

"Who are you?" Joshua asked before the lady could answer.

"I am Elena from the social worker office and I am here to pick up the children." She said and everyone glared at her.

"It has to be a mistake. That is their family there." Wordy said pointing at Sam and Natalie.

"It is not a mistake. The kids have no mother or father and I need to place them with a family member who is stable or next to kin." She said and glared at Sam.

"Sam is next to kin." Joshua said.

"Well it can't be him, especially after I just heard the SIU officer said about him. He is not stable to take the children now and the children safety comes first."

"You can't do that." Leah said.

"They will be better off with family they know. You can't just take them to some strange place." Jules snap.

"Look, I don't want to step on anybody's toes, but let be real here. The main priority here, are the children and if everything I heard is correct, not even you guys know what going on with him. I don't know him and he might be a good person, but right now, he is unpredictable so I have to make sure I do the right thing for the kids." She said and sighed. Even though they didn't want to believe her, she did have a point. Sam is being too calm and quiet right now, and that not even counting on the bruises on his body.

"Maybe we work something out. How about, one of us stays with them until everything settle down?" Greg suggested.

"Sorry but I can't. You guys are not family, which is basically like going to temporary foster care. You guys are strangers just like the foster house they are going to go to. Anyway, we are going to try to contact family first to take care of them and go from there."

"I am family. Those are my nieces and nephew."

"And you are?"

"I am Natalie Braddock."

"Well Natalie, do you have a place to stay?"

"Yes I do. I live with my brother Sam." Natalie said and Elena shakes her head.

"We can't allow that."

"Why not?" Natalie snaps.

"I am not comfortable leaving the kids around him." She said and looked at Sam while everyone glare.

"What do you think he is going to do, hurt them? This is not his fault. Some maniac kills his twin sister and you think it's his fault. They both lost someone, what make Natalie different from Sam. Why are you discriminating and judging? He the best person you will ever meet and he would take care of those kids like his own." Jules snapped ready to punch Elena on the face.

"I heard." She started and Jules cut her off.

"You right, you heard. You don't know anything. If you judging parenting skills and safety base on what you heard without checking facts then you are the worst social worker in this world and I would have you reported. Sam didn't kill his sister, and it is not his fault those kids are orphaned now, but he is the next of kin and you have a right to give the kids to him. Oh I swear to everything I love I would make sure you are ruined for this." Jules stepped up the woman and glared at her.

"Jules, she is just doing her job." Sam said and everyone turn on him.

"Sam."

"Natalie will take the kids. She can stay at Stephanie's house or my apartment. I will go to a hotel. Then when everyone is calm we deal with the kids' legal guardian." Sam said and looked at everyone. Jules' heart swell for the amazing person he is. He is willing to put his emotions aside to make sure everyone else is alright. And if she didn't think she was in love with him, this just would make her fall head over heel in love him all over again.

"It's that alright with you?" Ed snapped at Elena, also feeling sad and proud of Sam.

"Fine. Just need to get your information and be aware that I could show up anytime." She snapped back and walked to the front desk while Natalie followed her.

While Natalie and Elena deal with the paperwork, Sam sat down with the kids. Kristin and Alyssa had fallen asleep on his arms and Joshua was holding Matthew who was also asleep.

"Sam, where are you going to go?" Greg asked not bothering to hide his concern.

"I will be alright." Sam said calmly.

"Stay with us." Wordy said.

"I am good. I will stay with Joshua." Sam said and looked at Joshua. Something passed through their eyes before both man faces went blank. Everyone noticed, but they didn't want to approach the situation just yet.

"Alright see you guys early tomorrow. We would meet you at Joshua place." Greg said leaving no room for discussion. He didn't like the looks those two were giving each other, but he wouldn't push it for now. Sam has been through a lot today and there is a limit at to how much a person can take.

"Can you do me a favor?" Sam asked and looks up, for the first time looking at the team.

"Anything." Ed said.

"Someone stay with Natalie and the kids. I don't want them alone." Sam said and for a minute they saw the hurt on his eyes, before he masked it again.

"I will stay." Leah said.

"Me too." Spike said.

"We take shift." Greg said.

"I will help out too." Donna said and some members of team three also volunteer.

"I will bring Shelby and the girls in the morning, so Natalie and the kids won't feel alone." Wordy said.

"Same here, I will bring Sophie and Clark. I bet Matthew here would love it. He won't be the only guy." Ed said and some of the guys chuckled.

"Thank you." Sam said.

"Hey Jules, what about you?" The rookie from team three asked.

"No reason to ask her when everyone knows she won't leave them no matter what. She would care for them like they were her own." Sam said and stares at Jules. And this time she was sure that Sam is the man she meant to be with and would die for him. Before anyone could comment, Natalie was back.

"How did it go?" Joshua asked.

"I hate her. I told her we stay at Stephanie house in the meantime. I don't want the kids to feel scared or out of place. They need to be in a place they feel safe."

"That is good." Greg said.

"You guys should go. The kids are tired and they should be in bed already. They have been here all day." Sam said and got up with the two girls.

"I don't have a car." Natalie said.

"We drop you guys off." Wordy said.

"Natalie, Leah, Spike, and Jules are going to stay with you." Sam told her.

"Alright." Natalie said and looked at Joshua.

"I am going to make sure everything is alright." Joshua said and looked at Sam and he nodded.

"Ok then. We are going drop Sam at your place and stay with him until you get back." Greg said and dare Sam or Joshua to say anything.

"Sure." Sam said and headed for the door with the team following him.

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**I know I hate the social worker too. LOL. I have my reasons, and also she has a job to do. Anyway please review and tell me how much you guys hate her too. **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thank you everyone for the reviews. You guys are amazing. Also thanks to everyone you read it, and follow. Thanks to HAVERA again for making the chapter better. This one is short but I hope it answer some question about Sam and Joshua relationship. Also I know there is a lot of question and they would be answer in time. Thank you again and please don't forget to review and tell me that I am doing something right. **

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**Chapter 11**

**Joshua POV**

What am I going to do? I need to be there for him, Natalie and the kids, but also do my job. The SRU, they are our team and family now and I know they mean the best for us and they're trying to help so they are going to push about those bruises. But how do I get Sam to talk about those damn bruises. Why doesn't he open up about them? We all have our suspicions and anybody who cares about him and his family is willing to help but he always shut them down. He always blocks any type of help or acts like he is some damn superman. God damn it, how much can a man take?

"Joshua."

"I am sorry. What happen?"

"You think he will be alright?"

"Don't worry Nat. I will keep an eye on him. Just make sure that those kids are safe. He is counting on you. Please make it easy on him."

"I don't try to make his life harder." She snaps.

"I know you don't. But sometimes the actions you take have consequences and Sam is the one that always pay for it. And I believe he had enough. I am surprise he is still sane right now or at this point in his life. Any man would have gone crazy already." I said and sigh.

"I am sorry. I know he had it bad and this only made it worse for him. I wish that it would change for him, but I don't know what to do. I feel lost. My sisters are dead. My older brother is broken and those kids have no real hope of having good parents with us."

"Don't say that, those kids are loved and no matter how broken Sam is, he will be there for them and for you. Don't lose hope on him because the moment you do, he has nothing to live for."

"I won't, I promise."

"Alright let's go to the living room."

When they arrived they notice that Leah, Spike and Jules were looking at the family photos that Stephanie had around the house.

"She kept a beautiful house. She loves taking picture. She believes in capturing the moment and having memories for the future." Natalie said.

"That is really sweet." Leah said.

"Beautiful. She was beautiful." Jules said and I could tell she was thinking about the relationship that Sam and his sister had. And how much it kept Sam grounded.

"Guys, I have to go. I see you tomorrow. Get some rest we are going to need it."

"Bye." They all said.

"I walk you out." Natalie said.

"Hey Joshua, please take care Sam." Jules said looking lost and vulnerable just like Natalie.

"I will, I promise." I said and I saw the pain and sadness in her eyes before I walked away.

"Joshua, please take care. And please help him. I need him, we need him. She needs him." Natalie rambles.

"I know baby. He'll get through this." I said and kiss her on her sweet lips.

It pained me to watch her hurt and going through all this. I love Natalie with all my heart and we've been through some much together, especially when we were younger. I wish one day we both realize we are meant to be, but we are not at that point yet and right now, I need to concentrate on Sam. I grew up with the Braddocks and Sam and I have been best friends for so long we are practically brothers. We went to the army together and now we both work in the same place. I owe him my life and now I need to make sure that he gets his back. They robbed his when he was young and even though he won't speak about it, we all had our suspicions. And as much as I want to throw names out, I can't and I won't. I would not do that to Sam, he needs friends and family, not being analyzed and poked around like he is some kind of experiment or even a damn robot. Which, I have to say sometimes I believe he is. I just have never seen a person to shut down his emotions like Sam does. Even after being trained as Special Forces and I still can't master the art of shutting down, and blocking everything and acting like nothing happen.

"Oh Sam, what are we going to do?" I said to myself and then thought about one problem I could solve in the meantime.

"Hello can I speak to General Richmond."

"_Hold on please." _

"Ok."

"_General Richmond speaking." _

"Hey it Joshua, I need a favor."

"_Sure, anything." _

"I need a paper stating that Sam was in a secret mission this past weekend."

"_What happen?"_ He asked and I told him everything that had happen in the past two days including the suspect that die on him when Sam was negotiating him.

"So he won't be able to go back to work or get legal guardian of the kids until he proves where those bruises came from."

"_Even if I help you, which I am, that doesn't mean they would allow him back, or get the kids when they do an evaluation on him. He is emotionally right now." _

"I know, but you and I know that he will pass them. He is good at those evaluations. And at least this will be one less stress. I know it's risky, but if we do it right, they would just believe it right away and won't dig any further."

"_How is he doing?" _

"He is broken. I am scare. I don't know if he could survive this, this time. He killed his best friend's father and watched how his best friend's father killed his twin sister because he killed his best friend and her husband all in the same day. How does a person survive that?"

"_I know it hard son and I'm sad for everything the young man had to deal with and my heart goes out to him. But one thing I know about Sam is that he is a fighter and he will survive this no matter what. And when he's losing hope, he would have you, his family and friends, but most of all he would have those three kids, that would show him, that the easy way out, it not the way to go. Just be there for him. And I will call you when I have the paper ready." _

"Thanks dad, you're the best. Talk to you soon." I said and with that I walk into my house, where Greg, Wordy, Ed and Sam were waiting.

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**Thank you and please don't forget to review. **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who review, read and follow my story. It means a lot to me. I know you guys have a lot of questions, but things would be answer. And yes Sam does get some good time. Anyway thank you to HAVERA for making this possible and I hope you guys continue enjoying my story. Please review and let me know how I am doing. **

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**Chapter 12**

**Jules POV**

"Sh, baby, it's going to be alright."

"Momma."

"I know honey. I know you miss your momma. But everything will be alright. I promise. You and your sister and brother will always be loved and feel safe as long as I live."

"Momma." She whimpers and closes her teary eyes.

"She is so beautiful."

"Yes she is."

"You are great with kids. I am sorry I didn't come sooner, but I have been so tired with the flight and everything else. I just didn't hear her."

"It's alright I don't mind helping."

"I am glad you guys are here. I wouldn't want to be alone right now. Especially that I don't know anything about kids. I am always the best auntie who just babysits once in a full moon. But this is a full time job and I don't think I could do it. I am so afraid." Natalie said and started sobbing.

"It's alright Nat. I know it seem like everything is going to hell, but just have faith and everything will be ok. You guys will get through this. Plus we will help in every way we can. We love Sam and his family is our family."

"Thanks, I know I should be strong right now. But I don't know how. I don't know what to do and my heart is breaking for Sam. You know Jules, he is amazing. He is the best brother, friend and uncle anyone could have. The love that Sam has for the people he cares goes beyond his own needs and hopes, beyond his own happiness. But life has been cruel to him and he had to struggle, to find some happiness and if making people happy gives him that little hope, then he doesn't mind going all the way to make sure the person happy."

"I know he does." I said and I could hear the sadness in my own voice.

"You care about him a lot, don't you?"

"Yes I do."

"Do you love him? I know it's not my business but Sam has been through a lot and when you broke up with him that nearly broke him. We finally thought that Sam had found the one for him and that he would be happy. But then everything changed one day and he closed off again. He even disappeared for about a week."

"I can't apologize for that. I was doing what was right for me and it might have been selfish but he has the power to hurt me. I didn't realize that he was so serious about me plus I was guarding my heart from being broken in the long run, so I use work to hide from my feelings. Unfortunately it is too late now to change what I did but what I can tell you is that I love him. I've know for a while now but I wasn't willing to admit it to myself. I love him with all my heart and no matter how long it takes, I would prove to him that loving someone doesn't mean he is going to lose them."

"I believe you Jules and deep inside I want to believe that we can get through this but after everything I've heard about Sam today and what happen to Stephanie, Matt, Alyssa, Matt father, and god know who else. I not sure Sam would get pass through that."

"He will, because we will be there for him, especially these beautiful kids." I said and look down at the beautiful angel sleeping in my arms with a smile on her face. Like she just agrees to everything I said and that there is still hope after all.

* * *

"Greg, who could have done that, I know someone was behind all this. The fact that after two years Matt's father found out that Sam killed his son when it was supposed to be classified. The fact that Natalie was here just a few hours after it happened. Who could have informed her that quickly? And those damn bruises on his body. Someone is out to hurt Sam and they are doing a great job. They are using everything and everyone he loves to make sure that he falls deep down that not even god could help him out."

"I know Ed and I am scared just like you are. I am afraid something worse could happen and he would just give up. We really need some answers to start helping him. And the way I see it, I don't think Sam could come back to work." Greg said and sighed.

"I know. How can a person go back to work after going through all that? I think I would have gone crazy. Honestly I don't know how he does it."

"Me either." Greg said and they continue driving home.

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**Joshua House **

"Hey I call my father and I asked him for a statement saying that you were on a classified mission this past weekend."

"Thanks."

"How did you really get the bruises?"

"Why are you asking? You know I would never answer that."

"Dammit Sam! For once in your life think about yourself! Look at you, you all broken, inside and out, and we are trying to help you. How the hell can we help you when you won't let us in?"

"I don't need any help."

"You don't need any help! He doesn't need any help. Do you hear yourself? You are about to lose those kids, because you won't ask for help."

"I won't lose them."

"You might be right about that. But dammit Sam they need you, we need you. You need to let us help you. You need to talk to us and tell us what's happening." Joshua said in frustration.

"You know what's happening."

"I mean what's happening inside you. What are you thinking? How much of this is killing you? Why the hell you got tortured? And since when that is going on?" Joshua said and stared at Sam. He didn't move or change his blanked expression and Joshua cursed.

"Sam, I am really scared right now. I am scared for you. I don't know how to help you. I don't know what to do. I am staying strong and I am trying my best to keep my head cool and be there for you and your family. But I don't know how too. I don't know how to make you understand that we want to help. That it is alright to ask for help. I just don't know what to do. I love you Sammy, you are my brother and no matter what I will be there for you. But I need you to meet us half way. " Joshua said and Sam noticed tears coming down his eyes before he walked away.

"I don't know how to ask for help." Sam murmured and for the first time in 48 hours showed some emotion on how the situation was affecting him. He sobbed in the dark all by himself.

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**Thank you again and please don't forget to review. I am working on chapter 25 now, so there is a lot to come.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who review, who read and follow this story. You guys are amazing. Thanks to HAVERA to make this happen and making this chapter better. Anyway I know you guys still have questions but I would answer in time. And I know is killing you guys how hurt Sam is, but he would get some good chapters too. Anyway thank you again and please don't forget to review and tell me your opinion. **

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**Chapter 13**

"_Killer." _

"_No."_

"_You killed them all."_

"_No, it wasn't my fault it was him." _

"_It was you, that's why you need to be punished." And then a whip came down on his back and he screamed. _

"_Aw. Stop please." _

"_Just said it." And he hit him again. _

"_Never." And again._

"_Said you kill them all. That it was your fault." _

"_NO."_ _And he hit him again and again._

"Sam, wake up! Wake up right now!" Joshua screamed at him and when he approached him, Sam grabbed him by the arm and swings him to the floor where he pinned him down with his knee.

"Sam it's me, Joshua, wake up!" Joshua kept repeating but try not to move, so Sam wouldn't feel threaten. Then he felt Sam slowly lose his grip until he heard Sam sat down beside him.

"I am sorry." Sam said while staring at the wall.

"How long?"

"They started last week but they've never been this bad. At least since Matt's death they haven't."

"This could be a problem." Joshua said while sitting down next to him.

"I know and god forbids that I would hurt those kids, if I can't control this."

"How long do they usually last before they calm down?"

"At least two weeks. I am half way through the second week, but after yesterday they might take longer, especially if I keep bottling everything in."

"How are you going to get pass this? You can't just tell your nightmares to stop."

"You know we all get nightmares. They are not bad enough, except for these two weeks every year. After that I could go a couple of months without one. And if I do, they are minor. I guess what happens during those two weeks just make everything worse. And now this, I think it will take a while to get through these ones."

"Sam, this is serious, you can't be around those kids, until they go away. I am not trying to add more pain and problems but it's too dangerous, especially if one of them tries to find you during the night like kids usually do."

"I know that. Why do you think I am here?"

"What do you want Sam?" Joshua asked and sighed.

"I want to love those kids and make sure they're safe. I want my job back and feel like I am needed."

"Then let work on that. We need to get you back in shape. Prove to everyone that yes you hurt, but just like everyone else. And that no matter what happens you can still do your job and also be human." Joshua said and gave him a wicked grin.

"What are you trying to say that I am not human?" Sam said and glared at his friend.

"Well sometimes I don't think you are." Joshua said in a serious tone.

"Sometimes I do too." Sam said and they both stood quiet.

"You know you are going to have to open up a little bit not only the team but to the damn social worker too."

"I know. Let's just get ready, I want to go by the house and see the kids. Plus Greg might be here soon." Sam said and they got up and got ready.

"How can those kids be this hyper at 8 in the morning? I don't even know where I am standing at." Spike said while staring at Sam nieces and nephew.

"They are kids. They have so much energy." Leah said.

"I can see that."

"You want some coffee, Spike?" Natalie asked.

"Oh please, you are a life saver. How do you do it?"

"Believe it or not, I could hardly deal with it."

"Jules and Leah seem to be the only two that aren't bothered with the crying and the constant screaming. They don't even talk, they scream at each other. I am sorry I shouldn't be adding more stress to you. How are you feeling?"

"It's alright. It is a better distraction than to think about the fact that my sister is dead and my brother is broken."

"I know what you mean. We are here for you guys." Spike said and then they heard a loud squeal coming from the living room and they follow the noise to see what happen.

"Daddy, daddy." The two youngest ran toward Sam and he bend down to hug them both at the same time while they giggled and screamed they ears off.

"Daddy?" Spike said more to himself than anyone else. Natalie notice the shock face on the rest of the team too, except for Joshua.

"He practically helped Stephanie raise them. And the girls were too young to remember Matt. Actually Matt never got to meet Kristin." Natalie said and they understood how deep his relationship was with these kids.

"How are my baby girls?" Sam said and sat down to talk to the girls while nodding at everyone hello. The girls talk a mile a minute and Sam kept up with each conversation.

"Hey Matthew." Sam interrupts and stares at the boy, while the boy stared at him. They stared at each other for a long time. And only the adult notice how intense their stares were, but nobody dare to say anything. They were just holding their breaths. Matthew was old enough to understand what was happening. After a few minutes Matthew tears started coming down his beautiful innocent face and it broke everyone's hearts, especially Sam's.

"I am sorry." Sam said and the girls sense something because they got quiet and started looking at everyone. "I am sorry for everything. For the pain you are feeling and for not protecting your parents. But I love you. You and your sisters are my life and I need you to forgive me, because I don't think I could survive without you guys." Sam said and for the second time he broke down and cried.

"Uncle Sammy. Daddy." Matthew said and ran towards him and all four them cried. And so did everyone in the room, including Greg, Donna, Ed and his family and Wordy and his family. They had come in quietly because they noticed everyone was tensed and they witnessed everything and there was no name for the emotions they were feeling right now.

When Sam was able to calm down, he calmed the kids too and headed for the back of the house with the kids in his arm.

"Should we help him?" Spike asked.

"No, let him talk to the kids alone. He will come out when he's ready." Greg said and everyone nodded. Everyone said they hellos and sat around thinking what can they do to help. Then they heard a knock and Wordy open the door.

"Hi, how can we help you?" Wordy asked.

"Where is Natalie?" The guy said.

"She is here come in please." Wordy said and moved out the way to let them passed.

"Hey who was at the…" Natalie trailed off.

"Mom, sir." Natalie said and only Greg, Ed, Jules and Donna noticed how Joshua tensed and went to the back where Sam was with the kids.

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**Thank you again and please don't forget to review. **


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews and thank you to HAVERA to making this story better. Please don't forget to review and tell me what you guys think. And everyone waiting for another chapter of The Sacrifice, you guys would have a new one tonight or tomorrow the latest. Thank you.**

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**Chapter 14**

"Mom, Sir, please come in." Natalie said and everyone moved aside to let the Braddocks in.

"These are Sam's coworkers and their families." Natalie said and motioned at everyone around with her hands.

"We are really sorry for your lose. My name is Greg Parker and I'm Team One's sergeant". Greg said and shook General Braddock's hand.

"Thank you." He said

"Natalie where are the kids?" Mrs. Braddock asked.

"They're with Sam in the bedroom." Natalie said at the exact moment that Sam came in the living room carrying Kristin with Matthew walking in front him and Joshua carrying Alyssa.

"Mom, Sir." Sam said while staring at his father. Despite their attempt at hiding the tension that usually filled the room when father and son were together, it was obvious that it was still there and the team was quick to pick on it.

"We will give you guys a moment. We'll be in the patio." Greg said and everyone walked towards the patio doors leaving Sam, Natalie, their parents and the kids in the living room.

Once the team and their families were out of sight Melissa Braddock rushed to hug her children and grandchildren. Natalie and her mother started crying and Sam just hugged them both while staring at his father, who was staring back at him.

"I will handle all the funeral arrangements. The funeral will be held here but she will be buried in the family plot." General Braddock said.

"No, she won't." Sam said and Natalie and his mother tensed.

"Kids, why don't you go outside and play." Melissa said and Natalie guided the kids to the back door where Josh was standing guard. He knew that his assistance could be required if the situation was to get out of hand. He picked the kids and brought them to the patio.

"What do you mean, she won't?"

"She will be buried where her husband is buried and he is buried here. That was her wish and she made sure to include that on her will. I won't let you change it." Sam said and glared at his father.

"We will do as she wished" Melissa said and both men dropped the argument.

It has been a week since Stephanie's death. The Braddocks held a beautiful ceremony for Stephanie. A lot of people showed up, her neighbors, her friends and family friends. Parents of the children's friends came to pay they respect. During that week Natalie, her mother and Jules stay in the house with the children. Everyone came to visit every day. Team one and they families, team three, the social worker and Sam. He wouldn't stay overnight but he came every day to see the kids. During that week team three was cleared of any wrong doing and return to work. It was looking good for team one too, except for Sam. They gave him some time to get everything settled with his family before he could go and work out his situation at work.

Today was Saturday and they were all meeting at Stephanie's house. It was supposed to be a play date for the kids but it turned out to be a gathering. Everyone brought food and drinks and try to enjoy life despite the recent tragedy.

"This is good for them." Melissa told Jules.

"It is. It's also good for your family. It must be hard losing another child."

"It is. I know that what I'm about to say may sound cruel and portrait me as a cold hearted mother but truth is, that it hurts less to know that they are dead and at peace than seeing him going through this." Melissa said while staring at Sam. "My baby boy is broken Jules. I didn't lose two children. I lost three. He has been gone since he was 9 years old. And there is nothing we can do to help."

"There is always that can be done. I don't believe that for a second." Jules said and tried to clear the tears that were clouding her vision. She was hurting for Sam.

"There is only one thing that can be done. Unfortunately even doing that won't erase all the hurt and pain that he is been put through. You need to know something Jules. Those kids, Natalie, the team and you are what keep him alive. He still has hope and he will get through all this as long as he knows that you guys will be alright. I can see in your eyes that you love him so please don't give up on him"

"I do love him. That's why I would never give up on him. I was so wrap up on myself that I didn't realize that he was vulnerable and needed my support. But I won't make the same mistake twice. I will be there for him and the kids. I promise."

"I know you will my dear and for that I thank you. Now how about we go and join them." Melissa said and they walked to the patio to talk to everyone.

Sam was playing with the girls. He was carrying Alyssa and he was swinging her in his arm while she giggled and yelled for help to the other girls. It was so innocent until the social worker barged in and started screaming at him.

"Stop! What are you doing? She is screaming." The woman said and walked up to Sam and everyone stop doing what they were doing.

"We are playing." Sam said trying his best to contain his anger.

"Let her go right now. You can't be around them. I'm going to make sure that you aren't made their guardian." The woman yelled and Sam tensed. He put Alyssa down but the little girl wouldn't let go.

"No daddy." She started crying.

"It's alright, go with Aunt Sophie." Sam said and handles her to Sophie. Sophie, Shelby and the rest of team three, except for Joshua move the kids to the other side of the patio to give everyone else some privacy.

"Why did you do that? They were just playing!" Natalie snapped.

"She was yelling." Elena, the social worker replied.

"She is a kid. Kids yell, giggle and cry." Jules snapped.

"Mind your own business lady." Elena snapped.

"Everyone please calm down. You lady scared my granddaughter and I know my son would never hurt her. What is your problem with him? I've noticed that you've been on his case all week." Melissa said.

"He is unstable. He's dangerous and I don't trust him with the kids. He will get them kill too." She said and glared at him. Everyone noticed the hurt in Sam's eyes and then his face was blank again.

"What happened to their parents wasn't Sam's fault. You can't judge him. He is being there for those children since they were born. They call him daddy. He's the only daddy they know and if you take that from them too, then you are worse than the man that pulled the trigger and killed their mother." Leah said as tears were running down her cheeks. She never hurt this much for someone.

"He won't get the kids. I made a suggestion that General Braddock and his wife should take the kids. I passed the information on to the judge and on Monday she will decide who is better fit to take the children. Plus I talked to General Braddock and he said they could take the kids. That it would be better for the children if they go with them. " She said and walked away at the same time that General Braddock walked in.

"You told her that we would take the kids?" Melissa asked. Everyone was so caught up staring at the general that no one but Joshua notice Sam's anger building up.

"Yes, I did. Those kids need a stable home. They need support and love and they won't get it here." He said and looked at Sam. Everyone turned to Sam and for the first time they saw the hatred and anger he felt towards his father.

"On Monday you will tell the judge that you don't want the kids. And if you don't, I swear on Alyssa and Stephanie's graves that I will kill you right there and then." Sam said and walked away leaving everyone stunned, except Joshua, Natalie and Melissa.

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**Please don't forget to review and check out The Sacrifice i know you guys would love the one too.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews. Thank to HAVERA for making the chapter better. And again thank you to everyone. Please don't forget to review and tell me what you guys think. **

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**Chapter 15**

It was Monday and the Braddocks have to go to court to see who would get the kids. After Saturday's events everyone was scared on how this was going to turn out. They all had a feeling that Sam didn't get along with his father, but they didn't realize that the situation was so serious. They also knew something wasn't right in the family, but again they didn't want to ask any questions and bring up something that clearly Sam didn't want to talk about and that the General loved to exploit.

At the moment team one was sitting behind Sam and his lawyer at court. On their left sat General Braddock and his lawyer and everyone was waiting for the judge to come in.

"Do you think he will go through with it?" Spike asked.

"Yes, I think he will." Jules said.

"Why would he do that?" Leah asked.

"Because he would never let his son tell him what to do." Wordy said.

"He is a proud man and thinks he is better than everyone. Plus you could see in his face that he loves to challenge Sam." Ed said.

"I hope it doesn't come to that. Because as much as we know he would just do it to make Sam mad, we all know that Sam would do it just to keep his word." Greg said and sighed. They were more afraid of what Sam would do than anything else and they were also worried about were the children were going to end up. Yes, they weren't sure that Sam was stable enough to take care of the kids but they knew that he would do an amazing job with them and that he loves them.

"Hi guys." Joshua said while stepping aside to let Natalie get in and sit down.

"Hey." They said.

"Where are the kids?" Jules asked.

"We just dropped them with the social worker. It's about to start, they wanted the children with them."

"Oh ok." Jules said and then the judge walked in and everyone got quiet.

"Good morning everyone, I am Judge Anderson and we are here to establish the custody for Matthew, Alyssa and Kristin Hunter. I've read the reports provided by each party and the social worker. My priority is to ensure that the children are provided with the best care available to them. On that base, I would like to hear from both parties why they want the kids and why they think the children would be better off with them. General Braddock please proceeds."

"Thank you Ma'am. I want to say that my son is a great man, but he is not qualified to take care of my grandchildren. He is not married and his job is very demanding, leaving him to work long and odd hours. They need stability and love and I don't believe he will be able to provide it. My wife and I have a big house. We live in a great community inside the base and we're well respected. We would do anything to make sure that the kids don't miss on anything. We would provide them with the best schools and opportunities." General Braddock said and everyone's heart sank. He played his card well and looked like he won the round.

"Thank you General Braddock." Judge Anderson said then motion for Sam to talk.

"I know my record speaks for itself and it might seem that I am not stable and that I am the last person to take care of the kids but I promise you, that I love those kids more than my life and I will make sure that they know that until the day I die. I've always been there for them and I will continue to do so. I will protect them, give them a better life than me and make sure that they are never afraid of anything. Thank you." Sam said his voice full of sadness.

"Would you change your job and your apartment for them?" Judge Anderson asked.

"In a heartbeat. There is no place in this world without them. I know I could do my job and raise them, but if I have to give up something it won't be them." Sam said and sat down. He tried his best to stay calm but he was losing the battle. He wanted to kill his father plus he was so tired of trying to proof that he was a good guy and that he could do this.

"Thank you both. Now I always like to speak to the children and get their opinion. I know in this case they are small, but I will still like to bring them in and see how they interact with each party" She said and motion for the officer to bring the children. She instructed for Sam to seat down and for General Braddock to stand up. Elena walked in with the kids and the judge instructed her to handle the kids to the general. The kids went to him but kept their distance. Alyssa was hiding behind Matthew and Kristin was on Matthew's other side.

"Hi guys." General Braddock said.

"Hi grandpa." Matthew said and when the general went to grab Kristin she started crying.

"Oh right. Thank you General Braddock." Judge Anderson said. He put Kristin down but she continued crying. She motion for Sam to stand up and when the kids realize that he was there, they smiled. Kristin's cries stopped and the kids stared at him.

"Look at them. They love him." Judge Anderson said and you could see the admiration on her face.

"Daddy." Alyssa said and ran to him, with Matthew on her heels. It took Kristin longer to get to him because she had to get herself off the social worker, who wouldn't let go. She end up kicking her and then ran like her life depended on it and crashed right on Sam's leg. He laughed and she giggled at him while battering her eye lashes, making everyone laugh.

"Daddy." She said and sighed like she was tired of everything going on around them. After allowing Sam and the kids to interact for few minutes, the judge ordered for the kids to be removed from the court room.

"Alright if no one else has anything else to say and both parties agree, we are going to take an hour break and when we get back I will give my decision." She said and everyone agreed.

"Sam won round two." Spike said as soon as the judge left.

"Spike this is not a game." Greg said.

"I know, but the way General Braddock spoke earlier, it seems like we were in a ring and everyone was taking rounds." Spike said and everyone nodded.

"I think Sam won the round too. He spoke really well, he spoke from the heart." Jules said and everyone agrees. It was a 50/50 situation and the consequences wouldn't be pretty.

"I just hope that Sam won't follow on his word." Wordy said.

"He won't." Joshua said leaving them giving the impression that Sam wouldn't have to lift a finger if that was to happen.

"Greg, do you think Joshua would do it for Sam?" Ed asked, everyone was thinking the same thing.

"He just might. He just might." Greg said and silently prayed that it wouldn't come to that.

Everyone decided to grab some lunch in a dinner a block away. Natalie went and grabbed the kids and they all made their way there. They talked about everything except about the custody. They didn't want to put more pressure on Sam. After they had lunch they made their way back to the court. Everyone took their sits and Joshua and Natalie went to drop the kids. This time it was a police officer because the social worker was going to be presenting her report to the judge.

"It's always difficult to be in this position. You always want to make sure that you are doing the right thing, especially when the children's welfare is involved. I was able to review all the information and after some consideration and some soul searching I came to the same conclusion that I had when I first read the case. I grant full custody to Samuel Braddock."

"What?" General Braddock and the social worker shouted while everyone else was hugging each other happy that Sam had won.

"General Braddock, you and I know that you don't want the kids. You might have the wife, the house and the stability, but you don't have the love. And for you Elena, I don't understand your reasons for not wanting Officer Braddock to get full custody."

"You don't understand. You have read the report. He killed their parents. He is not emotionally stable; he is even suspended from his own job. He would hurt the kids." The social worker yelled.

"Calm down. Maybe if you did your job right, you would have seen that he didn't kill his sister, the grandfather did. You would have also known that their mother wasn't on speaking term with General Braddock and that he had never met the youngest child. You would also have noticed that during the entire week you spent checking on the kids, not only was General Braddock keeping his distance from the kids, but he wasn't even in the house. I know it seems that Samuel Braddock is unstable, but I believe and I know he is the most stable person here. Only because the man doesn't express his emotions like everyone else does, doesn't mean he doesn't feel. I believe that after years of service in the military he has become familiar with death but that doesn't mean that he's sick or a killer or going to hurt anyone just because he is used to watching people die in front of him mostly by his own hand. Your job was to stay objective and not pass judgment. Unfortunately this wasn't the case and since the day you met Officer Braddock you've been doing the opposite and I will have to speak to your supervisor about this. Now this meeting is over and Samuel god luck with the kids. My office would keep in touch with you and I wish you all the best." Judge Anderson said, got up and walked away. The social worker glared at Sam and walked out. General Braddock didn't even look at him. The group didn't care, they were too happy for Sam and the children.

"Oh thank god. I knew there was a god out there." Melissa said.

"Mom, would you be ok?"

"I will son. Take care of them and keep me posted. You know he wants to go right away."

"I know. Please take care. If anything happens please call me." Sam whispered into her ear while hugging her.

"I love you Sammy."

"I love you to mom."

"Let me go say bye to the kids and Natalie." She said and gave him one last hug.

"Congratulations Sam." Ed said followed by the team.

"Thank you. I will be right back." Sam said and walked up to Joshua who was standing at the door waiting for him. They both disappeared in the same direction that General Braddock has.

"Should we follow them?" Spike asked.

"No, Sam won't do anything to him. Joshua will keep him grounded. He just wants to talk. Don't push him about this or he will shut down. That's between the both of them and it'll hurt more if you guys get in the middle of it." Melissa said.

"That's your son and your husband." Ed said.

"And that is why I'm warning you. Don't get in the middle of it or Sam will be the one paying for it in the end." Melissa said and walked away.

"She's right. Think about Sam, he doesn't need this." Natalie said.

"All we're trying to do is help." Leah said.

"I know. I grew up trying to help and didn't realize I was hurting him more."

"He is hurting. When is it going to stop?" Jules snaps.

"When Sam is ready to stop it. It is all up to him but I still don't understand why he hasn't." Natalie said and everybody followed her so she could collect the kids and go home.

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**Thank you again. And please don't forget to review. Also I am updating The Sacrifice so go check out chapter 25. Thanks. **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews and all the followers and people that are reading this story. Thank you to HAVERA for making it better. Please review and tell me what you guys think. You guys would love next chapter. Sam and Jules smut and i might update again later. If someone remind me. **

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**Chapter 16**

"Hey are we ready to go?" Joshua yelled to the group that was waiting for him and Sam.

"We have been waiting for you guys." Natalie said.

"Let's go and celebrate." He said and grabbed Kristin and ran to the car with the other two children on his heels.

"He is a good friend." Greg told Sam.

"Yes, he is." Sam said and followed them. The team knew that Joshua was trying to distract them so they wouldn't ask any questions about where Sam went.

"Hey, let's get pizza." Joshua yelled with the three kids on his back.

"I do love him." Natalie said walking next to Sam.

"I know you do. You are just not ready yet. He understands that, but I hope you also understand that he won't wait forever."

"I know. I love you too Sammy. You are the best brother anyone could have."

"Thanks Nat. Let's go home." Sam said and they all headed to Stephanie's house.

When they all arrived, they ordered pizza and put some cartoons on for the kids to watch while the adults talk.

"So, what is going to happen now Sam? Are you moving here?" Spike asked.

"I am going to stay here until I find a bigger house. Stephanie and I were looking for a bigger place anyway, so I'm just going to continue looking for one."

"That is good. What are you looking for? I have a friend who is real estate agent, maybe he can help." Ed said.

"Well, I'll need at least 6 bedrooms."

"Why so many?" Leah asked.

"I can't be moving house every few years. I'm thinking long term. When they grow up they'll want to have their own room, one for me, a guest room and a spare room because you never know."

"That is really good. I wasn't thinking long term." Greg said.

"I will talk to my friend and see what he has available." Ed said.

"Thanks Ed. Boss, what about the job? Honestly I am not trying to rush to get back, but I guess you guys have a lot of questions and I need to answer them."

"One thing at a time Sam. We are still suspended, so let's wait and see how it goes. I know they want to have an evaluation done and it's true that we have a lot of questions but I think today was tough enough on all of us so maybe we can arrange to sit down and talk later in the week." Greg said.

"Alright, maybe Friday, like that I have enough time to move in and settle down."

"Alright Friday it is."

"You guys could come too. I can see in your faces that you guys are dying to be here too." Sam said.

"Natalie and I can babysit." Joshua said.

"Perfect. This way you can bond with your team." Natalie said and Sam, Ed, Greg and Jules groan while everyone else laughed.

They ate pizza and played with the kids. Then the ladies help to put the kids in bed and they all sat down and talked for a while before they started leaving. Everyone had things to do. Joshua, Natalie and Jules were the only ones left.

"I am going to go." Joshua said and stood up and he looked at Natalie and she blushed.

"Well Sam, I need a break so I am going to go with Joshua. See you tomorrow. Bye Jules." Natalie said and rushed out the door with Joshua laughing after her.

"She's so subtle." Sam said and got up to start cleaning the mess in the living room.

"I'll go."

"Please don't." Sam whispered.

"Sam."

"I'll take the sofa. Please stay, I don't want to be alone."

"Alright." Jules said and they continue cleaning up in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence but a comfortable one.

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**Please review and dont forget if someone remind me later i would update chapter 17.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thank you again everyone for the reviews and the followers. Also the one that read the story and my beta HAVERA for making this story better. To my guest, the story is not finished. I have 40 chapters so far and counting. So trust me the story is far from over and i would finished it. To The Sacrifice fans, i would update by Friday, i promise. I know you guys are dying to know what happen next and i wont disappoint you guys. Just hand in there. In the mean time review this story and let me know what you guys think. By the way, there is some smut here, just in case some won't want to read it. Thanks.**

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**Chapter 17**

"_Let her go. She has nothing to do with this." _

"_Are you not listening? She betrayed my son but associating with his killer." He snapped. _

"_She didn't betray anybody. You did." I snapped back. _

"_What?" _

"_You heard me. You were the one that betrayed your son. You left them when they both needed you the most and now you come back demanding payback. You killed your son the moment you walked out on him and his sick mother for a younger woman."_

"_Fuck you." He said and shot my baby sister in the head. _

"_No! Stephanie, no!" _

"Sam, wake up."

"Sam, you are scaring me, wake up!" Jules said and touched his shoulder. He panicked and grabbed her arm and swung her under him on the couch.

"Sam, it's me. Wake up Sam!" Jules said and stood still while Sam held her down with his body.

"Jules, oh Jules, I am so sorry." He said and tried to get up but Jules grabbed him by the neck and wrapped her legs around him and held him down.

"Don't."

"Jules, I hurt you."

"You are hurting, not me."

"Jules."

"Please Sam, let it go." Jules whispered in his ear and he started crying. He buried his face on her neck and clung to her like his life depended on it. They stood there embracing each other until Sam calmed down and he stopped crying.

"Thank you."

"Anytime Sam. How long?"

"Three weeks now. I know what you are thinking but they will go away, I won't put them in danger."

"I wasn't thinking that."

"We all have nightmares and mine only last those two weeks that passed but with everything that's been going on they are lasting longer."

"That's why you didn't want to stay alone."

"That's one of the reasons."

"And what's the other one?" Jules asked and became very aware that Sam was still on top of her and that she was holding him with her legs and arms.

"I didn't want you to go." Sam said and sighed on her neck. It tickled her skin and it made her shiver. Then the atmosphere change and they both felt the chemistry and sexual tension. He raised his head to look at her, and when he did, she moved one arm and cleaned the tears from his face. She traced her fingers through his cheek, nose, jaw and end up on his lips. She touched his bottom lip while licking her own. She felt him getting hard and she let out a moan that made him shudder and push more into her.

"Jules."

"I want you. I need you." Jules said brushing her lips with his. The kiss was soft and slow at first but when he apply more pressure into it, she find herself opening her mouth to allow his tongue to invade her mouth. He continued kissing her face and neck and she moaned, not only for the pleasure she was feeling but also because it felt right. He sat up and pulled his shirt over his head and took hers off too.

"You're beautiful." He said and lowered his head to her breast, while playing with the other. She rubbed herself using his thigh and pulled his hair to urge him deeper. He trailed hands down her flat stomach until he reached the top of her panties and slowly lowered them. He got up and took his own pants and underwear down and positioned himself on top of her again. He kissed her swollen lips hard until they were both ready.

"Sam." She moaned and he took his time to sink into her. She gasped and he kissed her again to quiet her. He thrust into her slowly and deep savoring each moment. She couldn't take it anymore and pulled her legs tighter around him and urged him to go faster and deeper. When they both started panting harder, Sam lowered his hand to her sex and massaged her until she exploded around him and he followed her. He kissed her to cover each other's screams and he collapsed on top of her as she groaned a little.

"I am sorry." He said and flipped them over so she could be on top of him.

"No it's ok."

"Jules, what does this mean? I can't deal with more things right now."

"I know. Let's say it was heat of the moment. Let's not analyze it just yet. I don't want you to feel any pressure about us. You've been through a lot lately and us is probably the last thing you need right now."

"I do need you."

"I know you do. I need you too but we can't just jump into this. You have three kids to think about and the job."

"I know." He said and kissed her one more time before pulling the sheets on top of them and falling asleep.

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**Again thank you and please don't forget to review. **


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who review, read and follow the story. Thank you to HAVERA for making this story better and thank you to everyone else who like the story. This chapter would answer so question and start new ones. I hope you like it. Please review and let me know what you guys think. **

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**Chapter 18**

It has been a week since Jules and I made love. I love her. I knew that since the moment I laid eyes on her. But right now, I am not sure if it is the right time for us to deal with this situation. I need my job back and I can't deal with the sneaking around again. I don't want to and she doesn't deserve that. She deserves to be loved and shown that she's a beautiful person, that's why I don't think it is fair on her to start a relationship with me right now because she is not only getting a boyfriend, she is also getting three kids. I know she wouldn't mind but I think it could be overwhelming for her to suddenly have a family. Anyway, I can't really think about that right now as I need to concentrate on the conversation I am having with the team later today. I know they want me to open up and tell them how I feel, how much I am hurting and how much I blame myself for everything that has happened but I can't do that. I'll try my best to answer their questions that's the best I can do right now. I know they're going to be pissed. I am not stupid, I could see the pain and frustration on their eyes; they just don't understand that I can't talk, that it is too hard to talk, that when you have being abused for so long, there's nothing else to do but make sure you survive and I've survived so far so I can't stop now. If they don't understand that, then there is no reason for me to even try.

"You know you have to do this right?"

"I know."

"They love you and trust you Sam but they need to make sure you are ok, that you are willing to trust and open up to them. They are your team mates and your family, they want to be needed."

"Joshua, I know all this. Don't worry I will talk to them."

"You will talk but there'll only be facts." Joshua said and sighed.

"Well, it is true."

"You still don't see the point, do you? When are you going to realize that you can let your guard down? That you can fall and someone will be there to catch you. You don't have to be the one doing all the catching that sometimes we need someone to do it for us."

"I know that Joshua. I let people help me and I know how to love them too. Doesn't that count for something?"

"Yes, it does. I see how you love your family, your team and me and I can't figure out why you are so guarded and what happened to make you like that. That is what I want you to understand. You can't continue bottling up your emotions or one day it's going to kill you."

"But the point of this is to tell them."

"Oh Sam, I love you." Joshua said and walked out.

"What happened to him?" Natalie asked when she came in with the kids.

"I don't know." I said and sighed in frustration. I don't understand what they want from me. They want me to talk and tell them what is going on with me and how I got the bruises and that is exactly what I'm going to do. Well I wasn't going to tell them the truth about the bruises but something to satisfy them but somehow Joshua still seems to be upset because I am not opening up.

"Sammy, will you be ok?"

"Yes I will. Go ahead; he must be in the car waiting. Have fun guys." I said and kissed them and watch them walk away.

Some days I think there is something wrong with me. Well, I know there is something wrong with me but I don't know how to open up and admit it. I know people want me to open up and talk about how I am feeling and all the emotional crap but I just can't do it. I learned a long time ago to block everything so I could survive and help my family survive. I made sure that I did anything I could for Stephanie, Alyssa and Natalie so they didn't have to suffer the same fate that my mother and I did. And throughout the years I got use to it and learned to deal with the pain and block my emotions. It comes naturally to me just like breathing.

"What more do they want." I said and sat down on the sofa waiting for the team to arrive. It was half an hour later that the team showed up.

"Hey guys."

"Hi Sam."

"Whoa is quiet here." Spike said and everyone laughed.

"Yeah, they left with Joshua half an hour ago. I have food and drinks if you guys want." I said to distracted myself. As much as I don't open up emotionally, I know what to do to make sure people are comfortable and make sure that they believe that I am alright.

"Sure." They all said.

"I will help you." Jules said and we went to the kitchen while everyone else sat down. I am glad she is here. Despite all the craziness going on right now, I know I rather have her by my side.

"I am glad you here."

"Me too. It's going to be alright." She said and kissed me on the lips and I knew it was true. We went back to the living room and we passed the drinks.

"Let's start." I said. I hate people staring at me like I am an experiment. I know they don't mean it, but I hate being the center of attention.

"Sam, we are not trying to push you. We don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, we just want to help. We don't have to do this if you don't feel up to it. We will still be here no matter what." Greg said and I knew it was true.

"Look Sam how about you tell us what you think we need to know and if we asked a question and you don't want to answer it you don't have to." Ed said and I nod.

"One thing I need to know for my own peace of mind is about the bruises. How did you get them and I want to see them. I have been asking myself about them for the past two weeks." Greg said and sighed. I could see the worry on his eyes.

"I can't give you too many details I only can tell you that two weeks ago I went on a mission for the military and it went bad. They're much better now." I said and got up to show them what is left of them. It's not that bad anymore. I am actually surprised Jules didn't ask when we made love last week.

"I know you can't say what happened, but did you get capture and torture." Ed asked and I am glad so far is just them two asking questions. It is easier to face them because they are my superior.

"Yes." I said, well the torture part is true. The capture is a lie, I went willing, but nobody needs to know that.

"Tell us about Matt." Greg said.

"I met Matt when I joined the army. We became good friends and then he fell in love with my sister. They got married and had the children. Matt and I were in the same team. We were in a mission when it went wrong. I was ordered to kill a building full of targets and when we went to ID them, Matt was one of them. Then a few months later I left the army." I said and they looked at me with sadness and resignation on their eyes.

"Sam we know all this." Greg said.

"Ok, so why did you ask?"

"You really don't see it don't you?"

"See what?" What are they talking about? They want me to explain and I am explaining, what is wrong now. _You know what's wrong. You're stating facts; you're being cold about it. That's not what they want. They want to see you cry and tell them that you're hurting and in pain_. My conscience warns me but that's not going to happen. I am not allowed to do that.

"You are distant and cold. You are just stating facts."

"Well it's the truth."

"I know it is Sam but you need to open up a little. I know you have to be hurting after everything that happened these weeks. Your twin sister is dead, your best friend is dead and your best friend's father is dead. Sam you just can't be this cold." Greg said and I stared at me. Once he is finished, I got up and walked to the window.

"I killed my best friend and somehow Matt father found out and went after me and Stephanie. He had no right to kill her, she didn't do anything. Her only mistake was to be my sister. Anyway, he was never there for Matt. He abandoned his wife and son and didn't show up until now. I don't regret killing him; I knew I had to kill him the moment he showed up at work. Yes I lost my sister and it hurts and I feel responsible, but I don't understand what else you guys want from me. Bad things happen to good people, but we need to move on. I need to take care of the kids. I need to get my job back and I need to continue doing what I think is right." That's the best I could do right now. I need to move on. I need to know that no matter what I have a purpose in life.

"Sam, do you hear yourself? You sound like a soldier." Wordy said.

"I am a soldier."

"But you are also human Sam. It's ok to cry, to tell your friends that you are mad that someone killed your sister, that you're mad at the world about everything that's happened to you."

"I just told you guys."

"Oh Sam." Jules said and came to hug me. I felt her trembling and I realize that she was crying. I turned around and Leah and Spike had tears on their eyes too. I don't know what else they want. Yes, it hurts but I can't grieve forever. My family needs me. Plus if I let my guard down, he would make sure I am dead this time.

"I get nightmares, each year around the same time I killed Matt. Sometimes they're hard to control and if someone wakes me up during one of them, I get violent. The night my sister die I had one and Joshua tried to wake me up and I almost broke his arm. They last exactly two weeks but because everything that had happened they are lasting longer this time." I said while still hugging Jules and watching the team. I guess that is what they wanted to hear. I don't mind telling them I have nightmares but I won't tell them what they are about.

"When was the last time you had one?" Greg asks.

"Four days ago and I know what you guys are thinking, the kids. Joshua and Natalie have being staying here and I haven't had one since the last time you guys were here."

"It could be because they have being here with you and the kids, but what about if you are alone with them?" Ed asked.

"It's my third year having them and each time I am either around the kids and Stephanie or by myself and I never hurt anyone."

"That's why you took off last year right before Jules got back?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you take some time off this year?"

"We were short one member."

"Do you know what they're about?" Greg asked.

"Yeah."

"What are they about?"

"Sorry but don't want to talk about it."

"It will help if you talk about it." Greg said. No it won't, it just makes me feel the pain and I can't do that. I need to block it out so I can survive.

"No." I snapped.

"Alright tell me how did Matt's father find out?"

"I don't know."

"You're lying." Greg said.

"Yes." I said and Greg and Ed sighed in frustration.

"How did you know you that you were going to kill Matt's father the moment he walk in to the SRU?" Ed asked.

"Because he knew and he wanted me dead or suffering."

"Who is the he, because I know it not Matt's father? We couldn't find anything on him, we still don't." Greg said.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sam, if you don't want to talk about it just said so but don't treat us like we are stupid." Ed snapped.

"Sorry."

"My gut is telling me there is someone behind this and you know who it is." Ed said.

"Don't know what you are talking about." I said and Ed cursed.

"Alright, tell us what Darren was talking about when he said it wasn't fair how the army treated you." Greg said.

"I don't know." How the hell do they still remember what he said?

"Yes you do."

"Off limits too."

"Sam."

"I am working with you, but I am not going to spill my life to you guys. If that makes me a heartless person then so be it. I get it if you guys won't trust me, but I can't talk about it. I don't want to talk about it. Those things are in the past, I don't want the past to continue hunting me. I just want to move on."

"How can you move on when you won't face your past?"

"If I do I'll be dead right now." I said and walked away.

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**Please don't forget to review. I know Sam seem cold and distant but the was the point. Sam not ready to talk. Plus he doesn't see that there is something wrong. Next chapter would be the team talking. **


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Thank you so much for all the reviews and followers and favorites. Thank you HAVERA for making this chapter and story better like always. I would try to update as much as i can't but it hard with my job and sometimes i dont even get on the computer. Anyway here is the team POV about Sam. Please review and tell me what you guys think. I know it seem sad and dark, but he got his good moments. **

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**Chapter 19**

"Boss what are we going to do? He sounds really bad?" Wordy said.

"I honestly don't know. He won't open up and I don't want to push him."

"Why not? I think we should push him, maybe he would open up then" Ed said.

"No, it could turn out wrong." Jules said.

"She is right. If we push him he could break down or shut down completely and then we could lose him forever."

"But we need to do something. We need to find out why he is like that?" Spike said.

"He's been abused. He's learned to survive by blocking all pain and emotions that can make him feel vulnerable."

"Jules, did he ever told you that he was abused?" Ed asked.

"No but each day is becoming more obvious that he was. He is starting to show all the signs of somebody that was."

"She is right. He probably was abused as a child and lasted for years. It's the only way someone can develop the capability of shutting down all emotions and pain." Greg said and Jules nodded.

"So how are we supposed to help him?" Spike asked.

"That's the thing, I just don't know. He doesn't fall in any of the categories of people that had been abused. He knows what he wants and is capable of giving love to the people he cares about and he knows about death. If you give him an evaluation right now he will pass because he knows all the right answers and knows what people want to hear. My main concern is that he's shutting down and trying to solve everything himself. Emotionally this is going to drain him and could drive him to either go crazy or he…"

"Or he what boss?" Leah asked.

"Or he commits suicide." Jules finish.

"You think he is suicidal?" Spike asked.

"Not yet. I don't think Sam wants to kill himself and I know he won't do anything to leave those kids without a guardian but it might get to a point that he won't be able to control it anymore and he could very easily just snap."

"Oh Sam." Ed said and sat down back in the chair. No one knew what to do.

"So, what do we do now? How do we react to this?" Spike asked.

"Honestly, it's up to you guys. It's your decision if you want to work with him or not." Greg said.

"What do you mean?"

"Sam is a ticking bomb; it might not be tomorrow, or next week or even months from now but Sam will explode. It is up to you guys if you trust him enough with your life. Sam will pass all the evaluations and will be back at work unless we don't want him back."

"If we say that we don't want him back, can this push him even more?" Leah asked.

"Maybe. He could feel rejected or he could just shut down and concentrate on being there for the kids."

"No matter what Sam is our friend and a team member. He's always been there for us. I think we should do the same."

"Yeah, his work is excellent and he's never caused any problems. We all know that what happened at the arena wasn't his fault. Personally, I don't mind Sam staying, we all have our baggage." Ed said.

"I agree. Sam is our team mate and he needs us. If Greg's fears become a reality, we will face it together then." Wordy said.

"Leah?" Greg asked.

"Sam is my buddy and no offense to you guys but he was the nicest one when I joined the team. So, I'll do anything for him." Leah said and Spike smiled. He knew he hasn't been fair on Leah.

"Sorry." Spike said.

"It's ok."

"Alright, so we got that out the way." Greg said.

"Why is it that no one ever bothers to ask me when we have a discussion about Sam? Why does everyone always assume my answer?" Jules said in frustration and everyone stared at her.

"Well, do you want Sam in the team, yes or no?" Ed asked.

"Of course I do." Jules said.

"You see, we already knew the answer." Spike said.

"Well, I would like to be asked the question too." Jules said and sighed while everyone else laughed.

"Boss, I have a question. Do you think it is true that he went on a secret mission? Can he be hurting himself physically too?" Wordy asked.

"Yeah, can you work for the military after you already left?' Leah asked.

"I think it's true. SRU will ask for verification until then I will believe him. I believe it's different for Special Forces. They go on missions that are classified. If there is only one person that can successfully carry out mission then I think they'll still be called upon. I can't comment on him hurting himself physically. I'd never seen him hurt so bad except the time he got hold hostage in the airport."

"Yeah that one was bad. But this is one is worse." Jules said and then blushed when she realized that she just admitted seeing Sam naked.

"Jules…" Spike started.

"Hey guys I'm back." Sam interrupted and everyone realized they haven't heard him come in.

"Where did you go buddy?" Greg asked.

"I went for a walk. I wanted to give you guys a chance to talk. I know this's hard on everyone and I understand if it's hard for you guys to trust me but I can't change your mind or give you guys what you want. All I can ask from you guys is to be there to catch me when I fall, because I know I am going to fall." Sam said and they all had tears in their eyes.

"We will catch buddy." Greg said and everyone nodded. He sat down next to Jules and she hugged him. Spike changed the subject and they talked about other things. Ed and Wordy were giving Sam pointers on how to raise three kids. No one mentioned the fact that Sam and Jules were still hugging.

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**Thank you again and please don't forget to review. Tell me what you guys think. Next chapter is Sam as a father. Imagine Sam alone with three kids. lol. **

**For Sacrifice fan i will be updating soon. Promise.**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thank you everyone for the review, followers and favorites. Thank you HAVERA for making the story better and thanks to everyone that love my stories no matter what. To my guest silent living. If you want you should join ffnet and like that with could talk better. But to answer your question I try to update on my days off. Which are Monday and Fridays. Sometimes I get a break at night after work and i update, but it varies depending on the week. Anyway i advice you joined and then PM me and it would be easier to answer all your question. lol. Alright guys another chapter. We are about half way through the story. I am writing ch 46 now and that would be the last chapter. Then I have a sequel to it. I have to warned you guys the story turn a little darker and it would be hard to read. And i mean hard to read, i will answer all the question and have you sobbing like a baby. I know i cry when i wrote it so i know you guys will too. lol. But i hope you guys understand and see the point of the story. Please don't forget to review and tell me what you guys think. **

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It'd been two weeks and everyone had been busy. Team one was back to work except for Sam. He had to go through a series of interviews and he still needed to complete the evaluation before he was able to return to work. So far he had done everything they had asked and he was just waiting to see if he would be allowed to go back to work or not. During those two weeks Sam had found a house in a great neighborhood near Ed's and Wordy's houses. The house is exactly what he wanted and it had a pool and a large patio. At first everyone was shocked at Sam getting the big and expensive house but he explained how Matt and Stephanie as well as he had money saved so he could afford it. He was also thinking long term and wanted something to last. The house was brand new, so all he needed to do was to buy the furniture and they could move in immediately. So, last week Jules, the kids and him went shopping and if he had known how insane shopping with three kids was going to be, he would had never suggested taking them. They wanted everything and nothing at all. In the end they decided on a Spider theme for Matthew's room, a Barbie theme for Alyssa's and a Minnie Mouse theme for Kirstin's. They bought everything the kids needed and had it delivered to the house. The furniture for the rest of the house was bought a couple of days later by Jules and Sam. He made the basement into a game room for grown up and kids. All that was left now was to pack the old house and move to the new one.

"Alyssa honey, we need to pack that in the bag not play with it." Sam said and sighed. The house was a mess, he had been alone with the kids for a week now and he honestly never thought it could be this hard. Before with Stephanie, he would come, help and stay a few days but doing it every day was exhausting.

"Daddy, wet." Kristin said.

"Alyssa."

"I know." She pouted while he grabbed Kristin. He put Kristin on the changing table and took her clothes off. He cleaned her up and when he was about to put the diaper on he heard something smash.

"Wait here girls." He said. He put Kristin on the floor and ran downstairs. When he got to the kitchen he found Matthew covered in juice.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Sorry daddy it slipped." Matthew said.

"It's ok. Go upstairs and clean up, I will be right there. Don't forget to change your clothes."

"Ok." Matthew said and Sam sat down in a chair and sighed.

"How did you do it Stephanie? If it's not one thing is another." Sam said. He got up and started cleaning the mess. Once he was finished in the kitchen and was about to head upstairs the doorbell rang so he went to open the door.

"Hey Sam, whoa you look beat." Ed said.

"And what a mess." Spike said.

"Hi guys, nice to see you too." Sam said and moved to the side to let them in.

"What happened here? A hurricane?" Wordy teased.

"You have no idea." Sam said and heard giggling and squealing coming from upstairs.

"How are the little ones?" Leah asked.

"Those kids are monsters. I don't know how she did it." Sam said and everyone laughed.

"It can't be that bad." Jules said as the three kids appeared in the living room running and screaming, Alyssa and Matthew in their underwear and Kristin butt naked.

"I take that back." Jules said and they all laughed while Sam groaned.

"Daddy." Kristin said holding onto Sam leg. He picked her up and closed the door.

"Yes baby."

"Daddy people."

"I know honey I see them." Sam said and she squealed and giggled so loud that Sam thought he went deaf.

"Hi guys." Jules said.

"Hi." Alyssa and Matthew screamed and laughed and continued running around the living room chasing each other.

"They really don't talk." Spike said and they all laughed.

"I would say sit down but I don't know where the couch is." Sam said and the team felt bad for him.

"This must be killing you. I know you army boys are clean freaks." Ed said.

"You have no idea. But the funny thing is it wasn't like that last night."

"It wasn't?" Spike asked shocked, he couldn't believe that happened in one day.

"You'd rather be at work, won't you?" Greg asked.

"You have no idea even the desert sounds good right now. They're worse than having a gun pointed to your head." Sam said and everyone laughed.

"And you love every minute." Wordy said.

"Yes I do." Sam said.

"Uh oh." Kristin said and her eyes widen. Everyone turned to look at her and then Sam's eyes widen too.

"Uh oh." Sam said and looked down at his chest where Kristin had peed on him. The team noticed and couldn't stop laughing.

"Sorry Daddy." She said putting both of her hands on his face and gave him a sloppy kiss on the nose.

"It's ok. Let's clean up." Sam said ignoring his teammate laughing at him.

"We got it." Jules said and her and Leah round up the kids and took them to shower and change.

Two hours later the kids were cleaned and fed. They were watching TV, while the team helped Sam pack what they needed to take.

"Sam, what is going to happen to this house?" Greg asked.

"I don't know yet. This is Matt's old home. He grew here, his mother died here and Stephanie lived here. She didn't want to give it up because it was his."

"Whoa, we didn't know this house had this much history." Wordy said.

"Yeah. I am thinking of fixing it and rent it. Leave it for the kids when they grow up and with the money of the rent we can continue their college fund."

"That is a great idea buddy. You should do that." Greg said.

"We'll help. I have a buddy in construction that can help you with the works." Wordy said.

"Thanks Wordy. All of you guys. I don't think I could have done it by myself."

"You are welcome."

"So, Natalie is not back yet?" Jules asked. Everyone was surprised when Natalie decided to leave.

"Nope. She said something about a job or something. Honestly I don't know what's going on with that girl. Half of the time she gets herself involved in so many unnecessary dramas that I don't even want to think about it."

"She's the black sheep of the family." Spike joked.

"No, she is the spoiled brat of the family." Sam said and groaned. He knew that the real reason why she left is because she was running from Joshua. Every time they seemed to be committed the girl runs the other way. She was afraid of getting attached and who wasn't. She knew that Joshua wouldn't quit his job for her not matter how much in love he was with her and Natalie was afraid of being left alone with her kids like Stephanie.

"And what are you?" Greg asked. Little by little the team asked questions to try and get to know Sam. He didn't mind and he answered them as honestly as we could. Sensing this, the team decided to continue asking questions as he wasn't shutting them down.

"Depend on who you ask?" Sam said.

"Your mother?" Ed asked.

"I am her baby boy, her angel." Sam said and smiled.

"Natalie?" Spike asked as if it was a normal conversation but everybody knew they were trying to find out more about Sam

"I am her idol."

"Stephanie?"

"Her best friend and idol."

"Your father?" Jules asked. Everyone knew of Sam's tendency to answer all her questions even if they were very personal ones.

"I am the black sheep there." Sam said and the team was relieved that he answered.

"Why?" Greg pushed to see if he would answer.

"I think we are done with the kids' rooms." Sam said and walked out. The team tried not to sigh but they knew better than to push him.

Few hours later all the packing was done. The team promised to be back the following day to help them move as it was their day off. After the kids went to bed, everyone left except for Jules.

"You should go to bed and rest you had a long day today." Jules said while sitting on the couch with Sam. She was aware that they were sitting on the same couch where they had made love a couple of times since the first night that Sam asked her to stay. They still hadn't defined their relationship or even talk about it but so far they had been using their bodies to tell each other how they felt.

"I know. Are you staying?"

"Yeah." Jules said and tried to calm down. Every time they were alone it felt like it was their first time all over again.

"Let me lock up." Sam said and got up and checked all the doors. He went upstairs and checked on the kids. They were fast asleep.

"Beer?" Sam asked.

"Sure." Jules said and swallowed. She was trembling and she didn't know why. They both knew what was going to happen. He knew she was staying as soon as Ed said they had the day off tomorrow. So what was he doing?

"Here" He said and passed her one. He sat down next to her and they drank in silence both aware of each other presence.

"Sam." She said but he cut her off.

"Jules, I want to thank you for everything. I won't insult you and say that you didn't have to, because I know you would have anyway even if we didn't hook up a few months ago."

"Thank you."

"Jules I need to tell you…" Sam said and trailed off nervously.

"Sam, what wrong with us? Why does it get harder each time instead of getting easier?" Jules said and sighed.

"I don't know. I know we haven't talk about it but I don't want you to think that me having sex with you is just a way of escaping my problems. It is more than that."

"I know. You would never use me like that. We are two adults that enjoy having sex with each other." Jules said trying to guard her heart.

"No, you don't understand. We might not put a name to it or talk about it, but you mean a lot to me, so much that in the new house there is a bedroom for our future child." Sam said while Jules gasped and stared at him.

"Sam."

"I have been thinking long term and you are part of it. You don't have to say anything and you can back out if you want. I just needed you to know what my long term plan is."

"Oh Sam." Jules said and straddled his lap and kissed him hard. She bit his bottom lip and when he opened his mouth she assaulted it. She was desperate to taste him and feel him. The fact that he said all those things made her realize that, that was what she wanted. She always hoped he would ask and it seemed that they both were in the same page. It scared her but she wasn't going to let the opportunity pass where she could show him how she felt. So she kissed him hard and fast and fucked him with the intensity that she felt in her heart.

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**Thank you and please don't forget to review. And Next chapter is moving and some family time with Sam, Jules and the kids. **


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Sorry for not updating sooner. With the holidays i have being so busy. Anyway thank you for all the reviews and for reading the story. Thank you to HAVERA for making the story better. And it is officially. This story is done. And it a great story****. A total of 46 chapters. And i am not saying that because I wrote it. But it is true. LOL. Anyway please review and tell me what you guys think. **

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The next day Sam and Jules woke up early and finished packing. While Sam put everything near the door or outside, Jules started breakfast. Kristin was the first one to wake up and Jules went to pick her up. She got her ready and then went to wake up Matthew and Alyssa. Matthew took the bathroom first while Alyssa got her clothes out. An hour later all the kids were ready and sitting on the table having breakfast.

"Good morning guys." Sam said as he walked into the kitchen. He had been standing at the door for the last ten minutes mesmerized as how easy and beautiful they all look. They did look like a family.

"Good morning daddy." They said in unison.

"You want cereal, pancakes or a smoothie?" Jules asked and smirked.

"I will take the cereal. The team should be here soon and I want to move the new house as soon as we can. The movers and the storage guys should be here soon too."

"Ok. Cereal it is." Jules said and got up to get it for him.

"Daddy, are we going to sleep in the new house now?" Matthew asked.

"Yeah, are you guys ok with that?" Sam asked wary.

"Would mommy like that?" Alyssa asked and Sam and Jules froze.

"I think your mom would love it. You know she was looking for a bigger house so we all could move in together and you guys would have your own room."

"We know. So I guess it is ok to move then." Matthew said.

"Me too daddy. I like my new room." Alyssa said.

"Daddy kisses." Kristin said from her high chair and Sam and Jules laughed.

"Does that mean that you agree?" Sam asked Kristin and she nodded excitedly and planted a wet kiss on Sam nose.

"I guess she agrees." Jules said and they all laughed.

"Is Jules going to live with us too?" Alyssa asked and Jules almost drop her spoon. She looked at the kids and they were staring at her. She looked at Sam and he was as nervous as her.

"Um." Sam started. He didn't know what to say. He wanted her there but he knew it wasn't the right time for them.

"I have my own house guys. But I will visit a lot and stay when I can." Jules said and Sam nodded and released a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Ju." Kristin said.

"Yes baby." Jules asked.

"Stay." She said and something twisted in Jules' heart. She felt an ache that wasn't there before. She realized that they sound like a family and she wasn't ready to give up on them or even define it yet. All she knew was that she needed them as much as they needed her.

"We don't want you to go." Matthew said and Sam and Jules were surprised. He was the oldest so he understood better than his two sisters that their mother was gone. The fact that he accepted Jules made their hearts swelled with such a love that words couldn't explain.

"I will never go far. I promise. I will always be there for you guys." Jules said and they knew it was true. No matter what, Jules would be there for them because even though they haven't said the words yet, they were a family already and nothing was going to change that.

"Yay." Alyssa yelled and Kristin squealed.

An hour later team one showed up to help.

"Alright guys, let's start moving." Spike yelled and the kids giggled while everyone laughed.

"We will help." Matthew said eagerly and Alyssa nodded too.

"Of course, we don't have lazy kids in this team." Ed said.

"Oh we are not lazy. We help around here and we listen and we…" Matthew trailed off while following Ed.

"And you guys talk a mile a minute." Spike murmured and followed behind them while everyone else laughed.

"How about, you help me." Leah said and took Alyssa's hand.

"Ju me." Kristin said.

"I know honey, you stay with me." Jules said and Greg and Wordy looked at her surprised that she understood her.

"I guess we found the lazy one." Sam said and gave Kristin a kiss and handed her to Jules.

"Shelby and Sophie will meet us at the new house with the rest of the kids and food." Wordy said while Greg and Sam went to pack the cars.

After they were packed and the movers had taken everything that was going to storage, everyone stood in front of the house.

"Daddy, that's it?" Alyssa asked.

"Yeah honey, we are going to the big house."

"Can we say bye- bye." Alyssa said.

"Of course. We will always have this house. We just won't live here."

"We know daddy." Mathew said and held Alyssa's hand and Kristin hold Alyssa's. The team step back and let Sam and the kids say goodbye.

"Goodbye house and happy times." Alyssa said and waved and so did Kristin.

"Goodbye mommy and daddy." Mathew said with tears coming down his cheeks.

"Mommy." Kristin squealed. It took the team all they had not to cry. They knew they needed to stay strong for Sam's sake.

"It will be alright guys. I promise. They will always be in your hearts and we can always visit." Sam said and hugged all three of them.

"Time to go to the new house." Matthew said and looked at Sam. Sam was taken back on how much those words meant. It was time for a new start for them and Matthew understood that make Sam so proud of him.

"Yes daddy." Alyssa said and Kristin giggled.

"Ju, home." Kristin yelled and squealed and everyone laughed. But only Jules and Sam understood what she meant.

"Let's go home." Sam said and stared at Jules while they pick up the kids and put them in the car.

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**Thank you and please don't forget to review. Next chapter with the team and family and some Sam and Jules loving.**


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